The Diary of an Orc
by Takk
Summary: I used to be fairer than the Evenstar herself and I used to live in a city that was more beautiful and stunning than Rivendell. My name is Rinariel and I am an Orc. COMPLETED
1. Escape

Disclaimer: I don't own Lotr. I do own Rinariel though. Never thought I'd own an Orc, but I do.  
  
A/N: Ok, so now she's not a real Orc, so I, hopefully, have little chance of mucking anything else up.  
  
The Diary of an Orc  
  
*~*~*  
  
I used to be fairer than the Evenstar herself and I used to live in a city that was more beautiful and stunning than Rivendell. My name is Rinariel and I am an Orc.  
  
Sometimes I remember what it used to be like to be an Elf. I dwelled in the city of Galadriel; I used to be a part of the Galadhrim. I loved my Lady and served her well as I was one of the ladies. Sometimes, I miss being an Elf so much; I have this weird urge to stalk any Elf that comes within seeing distance. I may have become the opposite of what I was, but my sight and hearing are as good as any Elf.  
  
Today, Saruman, the White Wizard, set my work group to pulling down and chopping up the Trees. At first, I couldn't. Having being brought up for a little over two thousand years loving and living in trees, I couldn't bear the bring any harm to them.  
  
Upon the White Wizards tower is another, another Wizard that is. I saw him briefly while hesitating to harm the trees. I saw his grey head poke over the top of Orthanc.  
  
I hate what I have become and would do anything to change it.  
  
*~*~*  
  
How I came to be an Orc is still a painful memory, even though it happened not long ago. You might even say that I am not a real Orc as my body is just an illusion. An illusion created by a powerful, corrupted Wizard. The Wizard, a treacherous, old fool was angry with me for being a pain in his behind. So, he cursed me with a powerful spell only time, or death, can break. A spell to make me look, and feel like an Orc.  
  
I had been visiting his tower in Isengard with my Mistress, Altariel, for no apparent reason, or so I was lead to believe, when I accidentally destroyed these very important notes that he had collated over many, many years.  
  
These notes were important in his study of the Dark Powers, as he was fascinated with everything of the Dark Power.  
  
I went to confess; he was in a foul mood. Obviously, my Lady had bad news, and my own news of what I had so stupidly done, broke the Horse's back.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Saruman has done a terrible thing. He has bred an army to wipe out any resistance in Middle Earth. He has bred a race of Uruk-Hai, a mixture between Orcs and Goblins. They are horrible, nasty, deceiving creatures that like to be the boss of things. One, Lurtz his name was, was put in charge of my work group. He worked us so hard that we couldn't walk after hauling bag after bag full of wood for the fires. Armour is being made for Saruman's new army; it is a horrible sight to see.  
  
I really wish I weren't in this foul body of an Orc; i have gone from the most wise and respected, to the scum that everyone's out to kill.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Would you believe me if I said that I was a great friend of the Evenstar?  
  
She came often to Lorien, being the granddaughter of the White Lady. We were fast and firm friends. We used to play tricks on the Guards of Lorien, as we looked kind of similar, Arwen and I. We would dress the same and walk by saying the same thing, over and over until our trick was spoilt and we would be in trouble. Even though I had blonde hair, and the Evenstar brown, we would wear long flowing cloaks and still be mistaken for each other. I miss the Evenstar the most. If she saw me now, she would probably not believe that I was indeed, her old friend.  
  
*~*~*  
  
This morning, the Wizard on Orthanc escaped. Saruman was livid with anger; he worked us harder than ever. He was so angry that he even killed his top Uruk. Now Lurtz, the Uruk who was in charge of my group, is the Leader.  
  
Great.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I have been unable to write for a few days because we have to travel to the Elven city Rivendell to stop a group called the Fellowship leaving. One member, and the Evenstar had been chased there by the Nazgul. Hearing this news nearly made me cry. I miss Arwen so, and would do anything for a friend.  
  
If I tried to be friends with any of the other Orcs, they would suspect me of trying to weasel them out of their portion of food or something. Not that the food is worth eating. Bread. Wormy, maggoty bread.  
  
I miss the Elvish food too.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I've escaped! I can't believe it! One minute, I was trying to wash myself in a nearby river, next thing, the others have gone! I only have to worry about food; I can't sleep for the excitement of being away from the others is so great!  
  
I have seen signs of the Fellowship.  
  
I know they have a horse with them. I saw the hoof marks after I finished washing. I have been walking, running, skipping for hours on end. I am now rested underneath a tree. I can smell a familiar scent.  
  
I know it is the scent of an Elf, but I do not want to believe it. If I met with an Elf now, I'm sure I wouldn't survive for the longing to be normal again would surely kill me.  
  
I have passed my group. I'm sure they are missing me, as I was their official tracker. Not that I was doing a good job. I would make fake tracks and follow those. I hate doing any jobs for the Orcs, it is horrible. All they do is glare and sneer; I've received not one thank-you from any Orc.  
  
The Fellowship are but a day ahead, I will catch them soon, if I keep running through the night.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I at least thought they would be thankful for saving them from possible death.  
  
I wandered into their camp this morning, swaying on my feet with exhaustion. The Elf I had smelt the day before was up and awake, but before I could declare my innocence and non-orcness, I had an arrow through my shoulder and another held at my throat. I recognised the Elf immediately. It was Prince Legolas of Mirkwood.  
  
"Are you a scout?" He demanded, the tip of his arrow pressing into my flesh. I noticed though, that he would not touch me. He held his bow and arrow slightly away from his body as to not touch me.  
  
I was trying my best to block out the searing pain of his arrow. It was one of Mirkwood, tipped with metal.  
  
"No..I-" I started, but was cut off. Another member had risen, a man. I sighed inwardly and regretted coming this close.  
  
"Legolas? What is it?" The man called out, rubbing sleep from his eyes.  
  
"An Orc." Legolas spat, wrinkling his nose at me. His eyes were narrowed and his expression extremely unwelcoming.  
  
"How did it get here?  
  
"I was just in the process of asking."  
  
I sucked in a breath and prepared to talk, but the man came forward and relieved Legolas on the holding-to-arrow-point with his holding-to-blade- point. His sword, Narsil, bit into my skin uncomfortably. I didn't flinch, and that was what surprised the man.  
  
"Narsil does not harm you?" He asked, confused.  
  
I shook my head and started to explain.  
  
"I am Rinariel of the Galadhrim." I said nervously. The mans eyes narrowed and his sword edged closer to my throat, the blade nearly cutting my flesh.  
  
"Saruman the White has placed an unbreakable spell on me. One to make me look appear as an Orc. I was a Lady of Altariel. "  
  
I was about to continue when I was interrupted by another voice.  
  
"Aragorn?"  
  
The Wizard!  
  
"You!" I cried in excitement.  
  
"You were the Wizard on Saruman's tower!"  
  
The Wizard frowned.  
  
"Though you bear the body of one, you are no Orc." He said simply.  
  
I could have cried.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ok, new and improved chapter one. Altariel is Galadriels Sindarin (I think) name. I'm not too sure. But I do know it is one of her names because I read it on this Tolkien desk calendar. Please tell me if anything's wrong. (I hope there's nothing..) 


	2. Hostile

Disclaimer: I own Rinariel, but, sadly, that's about it.  
  
A/N: Hey, thanks for your reviews! I should really double-check my spelling and grammar that, but I have for this chapter now. Hopefully there are no other mistakes!  
  
  
  
The Diary of an Orc - Continued  
  
  
  
*~*~*  
  
Gandalf is one of the nicest people I've ever met. He has made the others see that I am not an Orc. Well, not a proper one anyway.  
  
Still, the hostility level is a high as it could ever be. I'm given dirty looks; I'm refused any food by all except Gandalf and I certainly can't talk to or even be near the others without them moving away or making snide comments.  
  
This morning, I was planning to go down to the near river ans wash, but the man who held me at sword point, Aragorn, stopped me. Obviously they didn't believe Gandalf when he declared me a non-Orc.  
  
"Where are you going?" He demanded, his hand resting on the hilt of Narsil. I suspect that he thinks I am off to report to someone, like I'm a spy or something. First off, I would NEVER spy for the Orcs.  
  
"To wash." I said, looking him in the eye.  
  
Prince Legolas came up beside Aragorn and sneered, having heard the exchange of words.  
  
"Well, don't." Aragorn snapped, turning away. Yes, he thought I was a spy.  
  
"Why not?" I protested, feeling anger and despair at the same time.  
  
"Because," Legolas spat, turning and glaring. "You'll poison the water."  
  
That really hurt. Everything this whole group does, with the exception of Gandalf, is hurtful. My shoulder still aches from where Legolas' arrow pierced it the other day. This is another thing I hate about being an Orc, the wounds seem to be a lot worse and the healing process is very slow, leaving hideous scars.  
  
I have to wash; it's the only thing that makes me feel nearly normal. I hate the way this Orc's body is always so dirty. It's always so sweaty and smelly.  
  
Gandalf explained to the others that I was indeed an Elf and that he could see the beauty that lay beneath. I would have felt happy for the first time in a long time had I not heard the scoffs from the small people.  
  
The small people are really interesting. They are called 'Hobbits' and they are extremely short. They are too terrified of me to even come near me. All they do is sit far away and whisper about me behind their hands. Unfortunately, I can still hear every word they say.  
  
There is also a Dwarf in the Fellowship. Had I been an Elf, I would have returned the hostile vibes coming him. But since I am the scum of this Fellowship, I do all I can to find a friend.  
  
I am able to travel with the Fellowship to warn them of any Orc danger. Gandalf has allowed me to become a part of the Fellowship, though it doesn't feel like it. Aragorn, Legolas and the dwarf, Gimli, haven't told me what the Fellowship is for and still think I don't know. But of course, I do. I even know who carries the One Ring, one of the small people. His name is Frodo.  
  
*~*~*  
  
This morning, I earned my first smile from someone other than Gandalf. Even if it was a grim one, a smile is still a smile.  
  
I reported to Gandalf and the others about what Saruman is doing and I told them most of what I knew. I didn't tell them all, because then I would be worthless and they would cast me aside like a rotten rag.  
  
The grim smile came from Aragorn.  
  
Legolas is by far the worst of them all. His looks in my direction are full of pure hatred, his actions of making me feel like dirty scum are deliberate.  
  
I have tried to ask Gandalf about this, but he said that Legolas is having trouble believing that an Orc has a personality, a nice one at that.  
  
"He refuses to see the good in you, as he has been brought up hating Orcs."  
  
I tried to confront Legolas about this, but he ignored me.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I am alone.  
  
I have walked ahead while the Fellowship sleep. They have a night guard of course; Aragorn, and he kept a close eye on me, frowning when I left the camp area. In truth, I needed space to breathe.  
  
Being around so much negativity is making me feel more and more like and Orc. I've been told by other Orcs that I don't even look like an Orc. And of course, I am not. But that is not what others see.  
  
It hurts me to look into any mirror and when I wash, I always close my eyes in case I see by accident.  
  
The one thing that keeps me going, even when I feel I should walk into a human's camp, unarmed and waiting to be shot on sight, my mothers words get me back in a saner state of mind.  
  
"Even though the world may see what they think cannot possibly be Good, the beauty radiates from the inside, you must remember this."  
  
One thing that makes me different from the other Orcs, I guess, is that I still have an elvish soul. I can still remember what it was like to be an Elf, I still have my excellent hearing and eyesight and I can even move as gracefully as an Elf.  
  
But that does not make me an Elf.  
  
No.  
  
You have to be beautiful and have long, flowing hair.  
  
My hair?  
  
Darkened with grease and falling out all the time.  
  
Maybe I should return to the Orcs.  
  
They would certainly be more inviting.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Curse this Orcs body!  
  
I had just finished writing when a creature of the dark attacked me. I did not make a sound as I fought it, though if I had, I may not be in so much pain.  
  
We fought long and hard, I scoring more wounds than it.  
  
Then, an arrow, beautifully aimed, hit the creature through the skull and it died. I knew who had saved me; although I also knew he did not know it.  
  
I staggered back to the camp, bleeding horrible Orc blood and looking for Legolas. I had to thank him.  
  
I saw him; he was up for guard.  
  
"Legolas?" I wheezed, a lung had been injured in the fight.  
  
He did not turn around.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Thank-you." I said, blood from all over dripping to the ground. I hastily tried to wipe it all away, though the wounds stung to touch.  
  
"For what?" He snapped, turning around.  
  
His face was a picture. For the tiniest moment, I thought I saw sympathy flickered over it, but hard dislike replaced it.  
  
"Saving me.." I said, then passed out.  
  
*~*~*  
  
No one helped me dress my wounds. Not even Gandalf.  
  
We are now heading towards Caradhras. Gimli keeps suggesting the Mines of Moria as a possible route, though Gandalf refuses to take that path.  
  
The hostility levels haven't budged. I am still shunned, though silently. I tried talking to the other man, Boromir, though he didn't say much.  
  
"Why do you dislike me?" I asked, straight up. When I was Rinariel, Lady of Galadriel, I was known for my bluntness.  
  
Boromir's cheeks reddened for a second then went pale again.  
  
"I do not dislike you," He said carefully, and I could tell he was choosing his words. "It is because you are different, unknown to us, I guess."  
  
I still wasn't satisfied with his answer.  
  
"Then why don't you try and find out more about me? I am not an Orc! I am an Elf at heart!" 'And in appearance, not that you would ever see that.' I thought bitterly to myself.  
  
At that point, Aragorn, who was just ahead, turned and shook his head at Boromir. He fell silent.  
  
That's what made me really mad.  
  
I drew my Orc blade and strode up to Aragorn, tapping his shoulder.  
  
Aragorn turned, saw my blade, and in a flash, Narsil was out, gleaming in the light, its blade pressing against my armour, my blade rested on his shoulder. Neither of us moved.  
  
"You," I yelled in my best Elvish. "Are worse than any Uruk-Hai or Orc!"  
  
Aragorns mouth dropped at the sound of me talking Elvish in my harsh voice, then, his face darkened in anger. At first I thought it was my Elvish, for it had been so long since I had been able to speak my first tongue. Then I realised what an insult I had made.  
  
"What would you know? You are one of them!" He retorted, his blade pushing a little harder on my armour.  
  
"I am not." I said in a low voice, my anger so great, I was very near to taking this arrogant humans head off.  
  
I narrowed my eyes and pressed my blade to his neck.  
  
"At least I can get a good reply out of any Orc, I can talk to them, even though they think me not a proper Orc, I can still at least TALK to them." I shouted, my face heating up.  
  
Gandalf turned around and gave me a questioning look. I ignored it.  
  
"You are worse because I'm different and ugly. Go on, admit it!" I cried, my lungs hurting with the exertion.  
  
Aragorn sheathed his sword, but he needn't bother. It was out again in a flash at my next comment.  
  
"I wish the Evenstar were here. Even though I'm ugly now, she'd still be my friend, she would understand."  
  
At that, Aragorn grabbed my neck and shoved me against a tree; pushing the blade of his sword up underneath my chin so hard it drew blood.  
  
"She would never befriend such a disgusting, foul creature like yourself!" He roared, his eyes blazing in anger.  
  
"Aragorn! ARAGORN!!" Gandalf shouted, rushing over and pulling Aragorn away from me. Narsil snagged and pulled a cut underneath my chin. I whimpered and held it, staunching the flow of blood.  
  
"Do I have to show you what she looked like to prove to you that she is indeed an Elf and not some disgusting creature?" He asked gently.  
  
Aragorn nodded. "Yes, even still, I would not believe it."  
  
Gandalf raised an eyebrow at me.  
  
"It would kill me," I said weakly, sinking to the ground, sobs racking my aching chest. Gandalf smiled and came over, a comforting hand on my shoulder.  
  
"It is an illusion." He said, his eyes closed, focusing on the location of the Power that kept me as I looked.  
  
I felt his power run down my shoulder and through my arm, chest and legs. I felt myself growing taller and the awful scars fading away to nothing.  
  
When Gandalf removed his hand, I was an Elf again.  
  
I couldn't believe it; I kept touching my face and hair the most shocked look on my face. I jumped to my feet and danced around the amazed Fellowship.  
  
Even Legolas was stunned, his mouth gaping in an un-gracious way.  
  
"I..I know you!" Aragorn said, amazed.  
  
"Of course!" I exclaimed punching his shoulder lightly. "I have seen you many-a-time with the Evenstar."  
  
He flinched slightly at my touch, as if I would suddenly turn to an Orc again.  
  
Then, I ran to the nearest river, whooping and laughing in delight. I leaned over, my eyes closed, waiting to see my reflection.  
  
I covered my eyes with my hands and peeked through, then fell into the river with shock, my excitement melting away like a fast burning candle.  
  
I was still an Orc.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ok, changed that a little. Please review! 


	3. Shadows

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Nup, wish I did though.  
  
The Diary of an Orc..continued  
  
  
  
*~*~*  
  
No one talked to me for a long time after I got back from the river. No one dared to. They had heard my sobs and seen my sorrow at being something I couldn't be ever again. Gandalf apologised, but it wasn't his fault. He was trying to help me and help the others be friendlier.  
  
They are, kind of. The small people talk to me more than anyone else. They ask me about being an Orc and what its like. They are really curious about everything!  
  
Legolas just ignores me, avoids eye contact and only speaks to me when it is absolutely necessary.  
  
Aragorn told me to never speak of the Evenstar again. That's all right with me; it's painful to think of past friends when you have none.  
  
Boromir talks to me, sometimes. Most times he gets this warning glance from Aragorn or Legolas and stops.  
  
It's highly irritating.  
  
We are stopped just before Caradhras and the small people are learning how to fight with Boromir instructing them. I heard the Crebain before I saw them.  
  
"Legolas!" I called. He paused and looked at me, reluctantly.  
  
"Look, over there!"  
  
Legolas looked then blinked, confused.  
  
"Legolas!" I hissed, breaking him from his little moment.  
  
"Crebain!" He called out, remembering himself. "From Dunland!"  
  
Gandalf looked up and frowned.  
  
"The Spies of Saruman!"  
  
I froze. I couldn't be seen, or else I'd be killed. Straight off, no questions asked. I grabbed a cloak and threw it on, hiding my face, then dived underneath a rock that jutted out. I pulled the cloak right over me so I was completely hidden from sight.  
  
Once the birds had gone, we emerged. Gandalf sighed heavily and looked back at us. "The passage South is being watch. We must take the path of Caradhras."  
  
Legolas glared at me, his mouth twisting into an awful sneer.  
  
I realised that I must have his cloak. I groaned inwardly. I couldn't have chosen a better person.  
  
I held out his cloak, brushing of bits of dirt that clung to it.  
  
Legolas looked from the cloak to me.  
  
"Keep it." He said.  
  
*~*~*  
  
The mountain is horrible.  
  
Today, I plodded through the snow like the rest of the Fellowship, with the exception of Legolas. He walked ahead slowly, easily and without getting his feet cold with snow. For an awful moment, I felt this overwhelming rage overcome me. I hated him. I hated all the Elves for being what I could not.  
  
I glared angrily after him, and then tried to step onto the snow without sinking down.  
  
It didn't work.  
  
Of course not, only Elves can do that.  
  
*~*~*  
  
An avalanche.  
  
Saruman.  
  
We have turned back, thank goodness. I was starting to lose the feeling in my feet; my boots were filled with snow and icy cold water.  
  
We are headed towards Moria. I know there are Goblins there, but I haven't told the others. I haven't exactly been listened to.  
  
"Aragorn, there are -" I started.  
  
He just held up his hand and silenced me.  
  
"Shhh.."  
  
I sighed angrily and tried Gimli.  
  
"Gimli, there are Goblins at Moria!"  
  
Gimli turned to me and chuckled. He seems to find it harder than the others to hold a grudge.  
  
"Nonsense! Balin would have out fought them and burned their carcasses on the fire!"  
  
I shook my head sadly and hoped he was right.  
  
*~*~*  
  
He wasn't. There are corpses all over the stairs that led to Moria. Legolas confirmed what I had said. He picked up an arrow and examined it closely.  
  
We were about to flee from the Mines when the Ring-Bearer, as most call him, was grasped by the Watcher and flung into the air, ready to be served as the Watchers next meal.  
  
Boromir, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and I all tried to free the Small Person, but only succeeded in infuriating the creature even more.  
  
I was about to hack at a large tentacle that appeared in front of me when everything turned the wrong way up and I was swung around in the air so fast I nearly lost my lunch.  
  
I saw Frodo and made a desperate grab for his arm, wrenching him loose and throwing him towards Boromir, who was standing, ready to catch him.  
  
Then, my heart sank so far down; I actually wanted to be eaten by the Watcher.  
  
I heard Gandalf cry out to the others.  
  
"Into the Mines!"  
  
And they went.  
  
I was thrown upon the rocky shore as the Watcher fiercely attacked the Doors of Durin, crumbling them and causing the whole entranceway to collapse.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I wonder if they have even noticed that they left me behind.  
  
I wonder if they care.  
  
*~*~*  
  
After many, many, many hours of scrabbling, lifting rocks and trying my hardest not to awaken the Watcher who forgot all about me after I was dropped, I managed to squeeze my way into the Mines.  
  
I feel as if my body had been tossed carelessly from the highest tower in Middle Earth. I awoke this morning, unable to open my eyes for the blood from a wound on my forehead had glued them shut. After some time, I manage to get them open, only to be greeted by the depressing gloom of the fallen Dwarven city.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I have seen signs that the Fellowship has passed the way I have come. I am glad to be able to see the tracks, though they are well hidden. I feel so lost in this place; the air seems to press against me, making breathing hard.  
  
I have also seen signs that someone if following the Fellowship.  
  
Someone, or something.  
  
*~*~*  
  
They are much further ahead than I first thought. For all I know, they could be out and continuing on their way towards Mordor.  
  
Mordor. I shudder to even think of that name.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I am so lonely, even singing doesn't help. I have tried, but then realised I should be making so much sound, anyone could be watching in the darkness.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Screams in the dark.  
  
I am frantic, trying to convince myself that it is just my imagination, but I cannot stop the choking fear from clouding my mind.  
  
I have made much too much noise. I am a little way behind the Fellowship now; I can hear their voice, barely.  
  
I know that Elves are not supposed to be scared, but I can sense something much, much worse than Goblins in the gloom.  
  
*~*~*  
  
No! It cannot be!  
  
*~*~*  
  
A Balrog lurks in the Shadows, its fire burning, hidden from my eyes.  
  
I saw it today; its size caused me to stop breathing. I couldn't move, panic seizing every muscle in this horrible body and refusing to let them move.  
  
It didn't see me though, just went along its way.  
  
It is stalking the Fellowship.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ok. Another chapter for you guys. Thanks heaps for your reviews!  
  
I've re-done chapter 1 and 2. Hopefully they are a little more correct than they were.  
  
Please tell me if anything's wrong. 


	4. Forgotten

Disclaimer: Don't own Lotr.  
  
A/N: Ok, some people seem to be a little confused as to why Rinariel still has the mindset of an Elf. This is because her being an Orc is an illusion. She is not an actual Orc, she just looks like one. Everyone, except a few, see her as an Orc.  
  
Everyone understand now?  
  
  
  
The Diary of an Orc...Continued  
  
*~*~*  
  
Fear is a horrible feeling. It twists in my belly and burns itself on my soul.  
  
The Fellowship is very close to ending their journey through Moria. I haven't seen a track or a trail for a long time now. I only keep ahead of the Balrog and his scalding anger.  
  
Not for the first time, I wish that I carried a torch to light my way. Stumbling over unseen objects in the pitch darkness is not the way I prefer to travel.  
  
I don't like it here in Moria; it has an air to it that I dislike.  
  
It also gives me time to think. Not one of my favourite pastimes.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Have reached the Tomb of Balin, Gimli's cousin.  
  
A sign of a battle and the huge corpse of an unfortunately cave troll. I can hear goblins ahead; they must be pursuing the Fellowship. My tolerance to this lonely darkness is nearly at its end. I must see sunlight again, soon, or I fear that I will be drawn into the coldness of depression.  
  
I daydream about the trees and sky, the smell of a fresh breeze carrying the scent of a land, far, far away.  
  
The rotting stench of Moria is not one to replace the delights of the world above.  
  
I am certain the Balrog now stalks the Fellowship ahead of me as I have not heard it in a long time.  
  
Anxiousness is nearly worse than fear.  
  
*~*~*  
  
All hope seems lost.  
  
I have reached the bridge of Khazad-dûm and I feel the twisting pain of anguish.  
  
The bridge had broken in two and I am sure that the Fellowship has passed to the other side.  
  
Either that, or they have all fallen and now lie dead.  
  
There is no way across this bridge, I cannot jump the distance, and I cannot find a way to get across. I have sat for hours, hoping to hear a snatch of conversation from the Fellowship as my heart tells me they may yet be alive.  
  
I have wandered through the Great Hall, marvelling at its beauty, as I had no time to notice it before.  
  
Dread has settled like a large lump of stone in my chest.  
  
All hope is lost.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Will I die here in the depths of a fallen Dwarven Realm?  
  
I long for fresh air, I long for light. All that greets me when I awake, stiff and sore from the rocky ground, is the gloom.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I have found a bow and a quiver of arrows. It belongs to one of the Goblins. That I am sure of. At least I can practise my archery while I die of starvation and dehydration.  
  
I have also found a length of elvish rope. Feeling the lightness and smoothness lightens my heart. I can almost feel the fresh breeze upon my face.  
  
I have tied one end of the rope to the tail end of an arrow. Perhaps I can lodge the arrow somewhere and climb my way across.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I have tried and failed many, many times. And all the while, the Fellowship is getting further and further away from Moria. I do not know for certain where they are headed, but in my heart, hope flares at the thought that they might be heading towards Lothlorien.  
  
My home.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Will I die? Will I be doomed to fall into this chasm like it is certain the creature of the Shadow did?  
  
An arrow has found its way across and I feel hope and elation at the thought I may get out of this place alive.  
  
Can all ones trust be place on one length of rope and a badly crafted Goblin arrow?  
  
*~*~*  
  
Perhaps one must have faith. I do not know. So long I have been alone in this world of darkness, so close seems the escape, yet I feel a sudden reluctance to go.  
  
*~*~*  
  
  
  
I am across!  
  
I never thought I would ever say this, but Valar bless the crafter of that arrow!  
  
After a long time of agonizing over whether of not I should place my life in the hands of the Unknown, I finally started the long journey over the rope. I had secured the end of rope on my side with a large rock which I had dragged a long way.  
  
About half way across, the rope from the rock slipped, and I felt my heart leap and terror fill me and I went plummeting into the depths.  
  
I held onto the rope like it was a lifeline and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the death impact.  
  
Instead, I felt the hard tug of the rock catching and the shattering of my right shoulder as my body hit the wall.  
  
Then, hand over painful hand; I hauled myself up, tying the end of elvish rope around my waist so I should not fall again.  
  
When I reached the top, I nearly did not have the strength to climb out of the Darkness.  
  
An arrow, landing close to my face gave me the motivation I needed.  
  
Goblins.  
  
They had heard my wild screams and come to see who dared disturb the quiet.  
  
*~*~*  
  
The fresh air feels so good on my face. My shoulder and body throbs through me. Every step I take crushes me with pain, but I am so overjoyed to see the sun, the moon, the trees and landscape, it doesn't matter.  
  
I am just glad to be alive.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I have seen clear signs of the Fellowship, but they passed this way a long time ago.  
  
I found the first river and drank my full, which was a lot.  
  
Then, I submerged myself in the icy waters and felt the dirt of Moria wash away. I am so glad to be out of Moria. No more screams or whispers in the dark.  
  
I am near Lorien, I can feel it.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I have caught up to the Fellowship a considerable amount, and I am so thrilled that they have not plunged to their deaths. I have seen a hidden, smoking fire that had been light in the chill of this morning.  
  
The sun now shines brightly, and with a fresh breeze on my face, I am preparing to enter my home. I cannot wait to see my Lady again. It has been too long.  
  
I do not know what I shall find here. Welcome? Anger? What do I expect? A warm welcome with embraces all round?  
  
Maybe I shall be turned away.  
  
Maybe I shall be accepted.  
  
But that is all for Fate to decide.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Thanks for all your reviews! I will try and update again soon, but I'm quite busy at the moment so I don't know when that will be. 


	5. Obscurity

Disclaimer: Lotr is not mine..sadly.  
  
  
  
The Diary of an Orc...Continued  
  
*~*~* Aragorn *~*~*  
  
Now that Rinariel has disappeared, I realise that maybe my actions were uncalled for. Of course, one must see that with being brought up fearing, and hating Orcs, one cannot suddenly be friends with an Orc.  
  
At first, none of us realised that she was not with us, and I assumed that she would be right behind Boromir, as he was the last person into the Mines.  
  
It wasn't until Sam asked: "Where is she?" that we all saw she wasn't with us.  
  
I feel ashamed of the way I have treated her and hope she has not run away from us in grief or anger.  
  
She is a kind soul, though one has the tendency to overlook that fact when one sees her.  
  
*~*~* Boromir *~*~*  
  
We have nearly reached the outskirts of a great forest called Lothlorien, or the Golden Wood.  
  
Now that Rinariel is not with us, my journey is a lonely one, as not many of the other Fellowship member's converse with me as she did.  
  
Aragorn is clearly kicking himself for being so horrible and unwelcoming to her, but I understand. I think we all do.  
  
With the loss of Gandalf, the mood of our party is dull and the conversations aren't really worth taking part in.  
  
Even Gimli seems downcast, and he is usually, along with Pippin, the most cheerful and optimistic of us all.  
  
I wonder where we lost Rinariel, I didn't see he as we entered the Mines, I just assumed she was with us, somewhere.  
  
I hope she hasn't got herself lost in Moria; that would be a terrible fate.  
  
*~*~* Legolas *~*~*  
  
She is gone then.  
  
The others seem to think she may have lost her way in Moria, but I know where we left her.  
  
Just as Frodo had been freed from the Watcher, I noticed a shadow in the air, the Watcher swinging it around.  
  
I tell myself that I would have saved her if Mithrandir hadn't ordered us into the Mines, but I know in my heart what I thought and felt when I saw her up there.  
  
I wanted her to die.  
  
  
  
*~*~* Pippin *~*~*  
  
Everyone seems in a cheerful mood today. Not.  
  
I feel terrible about Gandalf. I shouldn't have touched that stupid skeleton, but it just looked so interesting! I mean, it was like putting a Hobbit in a field of Mushrooms and telling him he can't touch any of them!  
  
The strange Orc/elf has gone too. I don't know when I last saw her. Aragorn seems very bitter about the whole situation. Maybe Arwen has competition.  
  
Hmmm, I didn't just write that.  
  
*~*~* Frodo *~*~*  
  
Gandalf. He's gone. Dead. Not alive. Not with us anymore.  
  
It's not fair. Why did Pippin have to touch that rotten skeleton in Moria? It's all his fault!  
  
No. No it's not. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know that awful creature was lurking in the Shadows.  
  
But I don't know, he didn't even try to get back up! He could have too. I can see it in my mind.  
  
And Boromir. I feel very angry with him. Why did he stop me? Why didn't he let me go to him? I could have helped him! I could have!  
  
And that nasty Orc has gone too.  
  
*~*~* Sam *~*~*  
  
Mr. Frodo is acting rather odd. He snaps at everyone and looks very sad, all the time. He asks me: "Why, Sam? Why did Boromir stop me from going to Gandalf?"  
  
I reply: "The bridge was unstable, Mr. Frodo. You may have fallen too. What would happen to the Ring then?"  
  
He snarls, like an angry dog.  
  
"Are you saying Gandalf's life is less important than the Ring?"  
  
I can't answer. Frodo looks mad and stomps away to find refuge in his own company.  
  
The Orc, Rinariel, or something, has gone missing. One moment, she was with us, the next, she is not and the darkness of Moria pressing around us.  
  
She wasn't bad. She was an interesting topic to talk about, though I suspect she could hear every word. Just like Legolas.  
  
*~*~* Merry *~*~*  
  
Everyone seems quite gloomy today. I don't see why. It s a beautiful day, the temperature is rather pleasant and the sun is shining.  
  
Of course, we've lost two of our..well, one was a friend, the other..I'm not too sure.  
  
Aragorn, Frodo and Legolas snap at EVERYBODY. You can't even ask them when the next stop will be.  
  
A perfect example, this morning.  
  
We had been walking a long way and Aragorn was leading a hard pace, so I ran ahead to talk to him.  
  
"Aragorn," I asked, running to keep up with him.  
  
"What?" He asked. He sounded irritated.  
  
"When can we stop and have something to eat? Sometime soon?"  
  
He stopped suddenly, nearly causing Gimli to run into the back of him.  
  
"For Valar's sake, Merry!" He shouted, his face heating up. "When are you going to stop thinking about your stomach??"  
  
Yes, everyone is on tender hooks. Except maybe Pippin.  
  
*~*~* Gimli *~*~*  
  
I don't see why everyone is so depressed! I mean, I know Gandalf meant a lot to everyone, but I'm sure he'll be rested where he's gone! Legolas seems very unfriendly. He's acting a little like when I first met him. All mean with disapproving eyes.  
  
Young Frodo is acting rather strange too. He's rude and angry to all that try to talk to him.  
  
I too am sad about our loss, though the grief of Balin's death still bears with me a little.  
  
At least I am not like all these other sad sacks!  
  
Young Pippin and Merry are the only other two that seems happy today.  
  
We are nearly the Golden Wood. I don't know why we must pass through here, I've heard that a witch lives in the depths of the forest.  
  
And all that look at her, fall under her spell.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
What a great cure for writers block! Write about other things. I hope that shows that I'm not making Aragorn evil. I just made him act like that because...well, he needed too, almost. It was like he was trying to protect the Fellowship from evil, you know? Because that's kind of his job. Along with others...  
  
Thanks for your awesome reviews!  
  
And I can't really say what's going to happen next or in the end, because tha will ruin it. 


	6. Home

Disclaimer: Getting sick of this...I don't own Lotr.  
The Diary of an Orc - Continued.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I should have known I wouldn't get a warm welcome.  
  
I was still hesitant about entering when Haldir and another three elves made my decision for me.  
  
I had just removed most of my orc armour and discarded it when I found Legolas' cloak. I was so shocked at finding it that I didn't noticed the elves approaching until one of them shot me with an arrow.  
  
I gasped and fell forward as the arrow pierced my shoulder, in exactly the same place as where Legolas had first shot me.  
  
I cursed myself for being careless so close to Lothlorien and staggered to my feet, holding my arms in front of me, my eyes closed.  
  
To my horror, my outstretched hands touched something...someone.  
  
I jerked them back, my eyes flying open to see Haldir standing in front of me, a dagger drawn and held near my throat.  
  
"Haldir?" I asked, I couldn't quite believe I could see someone I recognised.  
  
Haldir's eyes narrowed and the dagger edged closer to my neck. I relaxed, knowing that Haldir would never touch me as I was filthy and looked like I'd taken a tumble off a waterfall.  
  
"Did you kill an Elf to steal that cloak?" He hissed, gesturing at Legolas' cloak.  
  
"Haldir, its me! Ariel!" I said, using the nickname is had been given by Arwen, shaking my head furiously at the same time. My shoulder began to ache from the pain of the arrow.  
  
Haldir glared and grabbed my neck, pushing the point of his dagger into my skin.  
  
I choked in surprise.  
  
"Ariel's dead." He spat, his grip tightening with my every move. I saw a flicker of pain in his eyes and nearly smiled. I tried not to though, because otherwise I would be a walking arrow cushion.  
  
A felt the point of an arrow being pushed against my temple.  
  
I took a breath and tried to relax, though I was having difficulty.  
  
"Are you a spy?" Haldir asked, his grip loosening a little so I could reply.  
  
"No, no. I was travelling with the Fellowship. I am not spy." I said as calmly as I could, my heart beating wildly in my chest. I wished I looked myself again so I could just enter my old home and marvel at its magnificence.  
  
Haldir then released me from his grip, but the distrust was still in his eyes.  
  
"They did mention an Orc that was travelling with them."  
  
My hopes shot into the stars.  
  
"They did?" I asked, straightening a little, a hopeful smile on my face.  
  
"Yes." Haldir snapped, brushing a strand of hair out of his eyes. He grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the Golden Wood.  
  
"Wait!" I cried as Haldir was covered by two cold looking Elves. I didn't recognise them and wondered where they were from. "Where are you taking me?"  
  
Haldir didn't break his stride as he answered, he just kept looking ahead.  
  
"Into the Golden Wood, where else? You cannot leave now. Even if you are not the Orc Aragorn was referring to, you cannot leave and inform your army of where we are."  
  
I nearly choked in surprise. "Aragorn mentioned me?"  
  
Haldir sneered at me and nodded.  
  
I knew that Haldir had always been hostile towards strangers, though I didn't know that he could be so different. The Haldir I knew was hardly serious, except in the presence of the Lady, and he always had this funny expression on his face.  
  
I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn't realise Haldir had been talking.  
  
"-he said he was feeling guilty about being so mean to this Orc, he should have been more welcoming, he says."  
  
I nodded slowly, not really listening. It had been a long day, and I had been shot. There is only so much one can endure.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I have been waiting for many hours now, just sitting here, alone, in an isolated part of the Forest. I recognised it immediately and had an extremely hard time containing my excitement. Even though I'm still in the outer reaches of the forest, I feel so happy to be home, I don't care.  
  
I'm to meet with the Fellowship again soon. They are to leave the Forest to continue on their journey soon, I think they'll only stay one more night.  
  
My shoulder aches with every movement and I curse the Elf who shot me, though who can blame them? To them, I'm one of the ugliest creatures they've ever seen, I suppose they have a right to shoot at me.  
  
Either I'll be recognised by the Fellowship and taken along with them on their journey or be drowned in the River. So says Haldir.  
  
Personally, I think he's jealous because I am getting more attention than him.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Today was one of my happiest. The Lady saw into my heart and announced to all that I was indeed Rinariel of Lothlorien. She talked with me a long time, explaining that for some reason, I was chosen to walk with the Fellowship on their journey.  
  
"I am glad you are not dead, Rinariel." She said in her quiet, singing voice. She looked a lot gloomier than I remember. She also looked a little pale.  
  
"Though, I knew in my heart we would meet again." She smiled and hugged me briefly.  
  
I was shocked at this gesture and didn't know how to react, I just sat there, probably with a stupid expression on my face. My shoulder hurt for a brief moment, but then the pain subsided.  
  
"You are wounded?" She asked quietly, fingering my shoulder.  
  
I nodded and looked away from her all-seeing eyes.  
  
Galadriel smiled again and stood, gesturing for me to do the same.  
  
"Come," She called as she walked away, waving for me to follow. "Now I shall present the Fellowship with gifts of many kinds. You are to receive gifts too."  
  
I met with the Fellowship not long after that. The looks on their faces were priceless. I was so happy; I started crying, and then complained that a flower I was allergic to was in bloom.  
  
The Lady and Lord exchanged knowing glances.  
  
Aragorn came over to me and bowed his head, guilt written all over his face.  
  
"I am sorry, Rinariel, for I was wrong to make you feel so unwelcome. I deeply regret my anger towards you."  
  
Gimli chuckled and roared out, "You owe us a tale, Lady!"  
  
I giggled, but that died away when I saw Legolas.  
  
"I have nothing to say to you," He murmured, knowing I would hear it.  
  
I nodded understandingly, but I was still hurt.  
  
The small people came rushing forwards, pushing roughly and excitedly past the brooding Elf and crowded around me.  
  
"We thought you were dead!" Pippin cried, looking confused.  
  
"No, the Watcher spared me." I said, bitterness biting into my voice. I looked away from the Fellowship and felt the anger of being left behind stir in me again.  
  
"Come!" Galadriel called out, breaking the uncomfortable silence that was stretching. She gave me a smile and I felt relieved at her intervening.  
  
She knew. I was thinking at the time.  
  
How silly I am! Of course she knows! She know everything, she is the wisest Elf I know.  
  
I received a wonderful gift from the Lady and Lord. I received a pack full of elvish clothing and food. I also was given a bow of the Galadhrim, and a quiver of arrows.  
  
This, Legolas also received. I noted that my bow was of a better design than Legolas' and wondered if that was the reason for the glares he shot me all of this day.  
  
I never actually noticed until today that Gimli had been allowed into Lothlorien. Of course, I've seen him, but I never got to me that he was a dwarf in an elven city! He seems to have found Lothlorien all right though, and I am glad.  
  
Gimli asked for one strand of the Lady's hair and got three. I know he treasures them greatly as he has checked for them three times now, making sure they are still where he left them.  
  
The Ring-Bearer received the Phial of Galadriel, the light Earendil trapped inside it.  
  
We were all given beautifully woven elvish cloaks along with a brooch to fasten the ends.  
  
The Lady and Lord drew me aside one last time and the Lady explained her gifts.  
  
"The clothes are for you to wear, Ariel, not to look at and wish you could wear! I feel in my heart that one day you will be able to wear these proudly."  
  
I left them both, confused.  
  
What on earth did she mean?  
  
*~*~*  
  
We have been travelling for three days now and I am thoroughly sick of this damned river.  
  
I am worried about something following us on the shore; I can smell fear and anger. This does not look good.  
  
Legolas actually brought himself to talk to me today. Well, he couldn't really stay silent for the whole day, I was in the same boat and we were both quite a way ahead of the rest. I'm sure he waited until we were out earshot.  
  
"I am sorry for my behaviour, Rinariel." He said so quietly that at first, I thought he was talking to himself.  
  
"Ariel." I said, dipping my paddle in a little deeper. "Rinariel is too much of a mouthful."  
  
"Ariel.." He said, tasting the sound.  
  
"Yes?" I said, trying to keep from crying. I wasn't feeling too great and was definitely about to scream that I never wanted to see another river ever again.  
  
"Can..can you forgive me?"  
  
I smiled at the river and turned to look at him.  
  
"I'll think about it."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hey pplz, sorry for the wait. I'm not able to use the Internet as frequently as I'd like to, so I have to wait until the weekends to use it! I hope this chapter is all right; I don't have much time to check it over. And NO, Legolas is NOT going to make any moves. He and Rinariel and NOT going to end up together. Nuh-uh, no way!  
  
Enjoy! 


	7. Misery

Disclaimer: Oh..how miserable I am, I don't own Lotr, and I never will. *Wipes away a tear*  
  
The Diary of an Orc - Continued.  
*~*~*  
  
I realise that the river and I need to settle our differences before we both do something we regret.  
  
Well that just sounds plain silly. I guess it's me getting back to my usual self. Now that Galadriel AND Gandalf have both confirmed that I am indeed Ariel, the Fellowship have been kinder to me, more welcoming.  
  
Or maybe they are just sick of each other. I did notice that there were less jokes and a little more snapping.  
  
I am lying in a boat, Aragorn and Boromir both paddling. I am lazy; I know this, because I have been lying here for most of the day, doing..nothing! I am smiling and laughing out spontaneously, remembering all types of things that I have forgotten to record.  
  
At this present moment, I have remembered the look on Haldir's face when he heard I was indeed me. It was more than priceless. He looked, well, confused and amused. He didn't say anything though.  
  
Although I have forgiven Legolas, reluctantly, for his previous behaviour and for shooting me, we rarely speak unless absolutely necessary.  
  
It seems normal, and I don't feel uncomfortable when we sit in long silences.  
  
We are nearing our destination and Aragorn has just flicked a whole paddleful of water at me, telling me I should hurry up and pull my weight or he'll make me swim the rest of the way.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Although I swore I'd never want to see another river again, I felt a little safer out there than I do here on the shore. I feel uneasy and restless, like we shouldn't be here.  
  
I mentioned this to Aragorn, and Legolas.  
  
"I feel that we should keep moving." I muttered in Aragorns ear as I dumped a pile of wood at his feet as we had all been given the task of collecting wood for a fire.  
  
Legolas nodded in agreement.  
  
"We should cross before nightfall." He said, scanning the eastern shore briefly.  
  
"No, the eastern shore is patrolled by Orcs."  
  
I sneered involuntarily. "It is not the eastern shore that worries me."  
  
"Evil draws near, I can feel it."  
  
*~*~*  
  
Still, we are not to cross.  
  
I was collecting another armful of firewood when I heard a scuffling noise and a muffled yell.  
  
I dropped the wood I was carrying and ran towards the sound, to be shoved back by, nothing! I was running towards Boromir who was lying in the leaves, pounding his fists furiously against the ground. I was shocked at the sight and ran towards him when I ran into .. air!  
  
I flew backwards and hit my head against a rock; I still feel the bruise now.  
  
When I sat up, I could see stars shooting across my vision and Boromir lying face down in the leaves, screaming at something. I ran to aid Boromir, but he swung his fists at me wildly saying:  
  
"He'll give the ring to Sauron and betray us all!"  
  
I was truly frightened. I had never seen anyone as gentle as Boromir, in such a fit of rage. I grabbed his arm with a strong hand and held it until he calmed down.  
  
Then, he collapsed against me, sobbing saying everything was his fault. I held him uncomfortably until he sobered.  
  
"I'm sorry." He said stiffly, realising all that had happened. He then jumped up and stalked off in search of Frodo. He was so determined on his task that he didn't hear my calling.  
  
*~*~*  
  
We were ambushed. I should have trusted my feelings and used them to overrule Aragorn.  
  
I feel incredibly guilty now, though I cannot imagine what Aragorn is going through. After all, it was his decision to stay here.  
  
An army of Uruk-Hai.  
  
I was terrified, even if only one recognised me, I'd be captured and dragged back to Isengard named a traitor.  
  
Instead of hiding, like I felt like doing so strongly, I nearly did, I covered myself completely in my elvish cloak and fired arrows of the Galadhrim from behind trees.  
  
I couldn't be seen, and I tried my hardest not to be discovered.  
  
I kept myself well hidden until I heard the horn of Gondor. I panicked then. Boromir was in trouble and there was obviously no one there to aid.  
  
I threw my cautions into the wind and ran towards the sound. I realised that I didn't look too abnormal, as half of the Uruks were also headed in that direction. That, I decided, cannot be good.  
  
And it wasn't. I ran into the clearing to discover two of the small people, Meriadoc and Peregin, and Boromir nearly surrounded by Uruk-Hai. They were being attacked on all fronts except the back, and there was no way I could get there in time.  
  
Instead, I climbed a tree as quickly as I could, firing arrows on the way. I managed to slow the Uruks down a lot, though there were so many of them that for everyone I felled, there were three to take its place.  
  
I jumped from the tree in frustration, landing on and killing two Orcs that had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.  
  
"Ariel!" A voice called, Legolas. I turned just in time to catch a knife that Legolas had thrown me.  
  
I smiled grimly and spun in a circle, cutting into any Orc or Uruk flesh I could get near.  
  
I made my way slowly towards the Hobbits and Boromir, killing and wounding as many Orcs as possible. I always gasped as if in surprise, or apologised briefly as if it were a mistake, before surging forward again.  
  
Suddenly, the crowds of Uruks thinned and I craned my neck to see where Boromir and the Hobbits were. I saw them ahead, Boromir's chest ridden with arrows. I ran forward angrily, cutting left and right with Legolas' knife. I saw red.  
  
When I reached him, I saw the one Uruk I'd never wanted to see ever again.  
  
Lurtz.  
  
He had an arrow notched, and ready to deliver the killing blow to Boromir. I screamed in rage and shot an arrow at Lurtz's arm. Lurtz spun around and his eyes narrowed when he saw me.  
  
"You!" He scowled in the Black Tongue. Even though I knew the Black Tongue and could speak it, I was too terrified to reply.  
  
"You are the traitor!" He hissed in the Common Tongue so Boromir could understand.  
  
I threw Legolas' knife at him with all my might and ran forward, delivering a crushing kick upon the knife buried in his leg. Lurtz gave a strangled yell of anger and whipped the knife out, plunging it into my chest, just missing my heart.  
  
I stumbled backwards and nearly fell upon Boromir. I just managed to twist to the side and avoided driving the arrows further into him.  
  
I lay beside Boromir, feeling and probably looking like a broken doll. My head was lolled to one side, and I looked up into Boromir's eyes.  
  
"I am sorry." I choked out, the pain of the knife coursing through me.  
  
"Don't be." He replied. I felt a hand on mine.  
  
Behind us, Aragorn had just attacked Lurtz and the two were engaged in a bloody battle. I felt my strength draining from me like my blood. I grabbed the knife handle weakly and struggled to pull it out, every movement sending shots of pain through my chest.  
  
*~*~* Legolas *~*~*  
  
We have lost a number of the Fellowship. Boromir to death, Frodo and Sam to Mordor, Merry and Pippin to the Uruk-Hai. When I first saw Rinariel lying beside Boromir, my knife sticking from her chest, I thought she was dead too, but she was not.  
  
She will heal quickly, though the pain of watching Boromir slip away before her eyes will take some years to heal. Death of a close friend is always painful.  
  
We pursue the Uruk-Hai that have taken Merry and Pippin. It seems hopeless to follow Frodo and Sam, as they are sure to find their way all right.  
  
There were nine, then ten, and nine again, and now, four travel alone.  
  
We have lost too many on this journey.  
  
*~*~* Aragorn *~*~*  
  
The Fellowship has failed. We are scattered, divided, leaderless. Ariel is recovering from her mortal wound and slowly from the pain of death.  
  
We travel swiftly, pursuing an army of Uruk-Hai. They have taken Merry and Pippin with them for a reason I cannot imagine. My one fear is that someone has heard that a hobbit carries the Ring and that Merry and Pippin were taken because of this. Thank goodness Frodo and Sam got away.  
  
Although the days are long and tiring, no one complains. We all realise why we must save Merry and Pippin from certain torture and death.  
  
The days are too long and the nights too short. We stop mainly for Ariel, since her wound is still healing slowly and she cannot run for long amounts of time.  
  
As the day bleeds into night, we stop. We are exhausted.  
  
*~*~* Gimli *~*~*  
  
This has turned out to be a very tough week. Day follows day, night follows night and every day we pursue these stinking, rotten piles of filth, we draw closer.  
  
Poor Rinariel. Her chest wound is slowing her, and us, considerably. She even suggested that we leave her behind. She called herself a thorn in our sides!  
  
I personally hope she stays. I am getting sick of Legolas' constant know-it- all attitude and Aragorn's leadership act.  
  
Also, she is very interesting to talk to. She has a sense of humour.  
  
Unlike some people I know. Not mentioning any names here...  
  
*~*~*  
  
I don't know why they insist that I must stay with them.  
  
Every day I feel like lying down and dying, right there on the spot.  
  
All this running is physical torture, and my wound is healing too slowly for my liking. The last time I checked it, it was horribly infected.  
  
All this running cannot be good for anyone! We have run on and on following the Uruk-Hai that have taken Merry and Pippin from us.  
  
Everytime I close my eyes, I see the image of a dying Boromir, imprinted on my eyelids. Why can't it just let me be? I remember the pain in his eyes and the tears come.. I passed out while he died; Aragorn removed the knife and dressed my wound for me.  
  
I have cleaned it, over and over, dressed it properly, everyday and yet it still is infected.  
  
I HATE being in this Orcs body.  
  
We have come to a halt; Aragorn can hear the faint rumble of the Uruks footfalls. I personally would rather not pursue the Uruk-Hai. If they captured me...  
  
They have quickened their pace. They are a long way away. Sometimes I can just barely catch a glimpse of an Uruk back and even though Legolas' eyesight is much more accurate than mine, I know it will take a long time to gain on them.  
  
They travel tirelessly through day and night. Everytime we stop, because of me, they get a bigger advantage over us.  
  
Soon they will have to stop. What then?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Was that boring?  
  
I don't know....i have to check it. I kinda just kept writing it and writing it...so sorry if it goes on.  
  
Also, I couldn't get my copy of the script on the computer properly cos our cd drive is..well weird. So sorry if the wording and stuff is wrong.  
  
*sighs* Oh well, goodnight everyone! (Or morning...whatever!) 


	8. Hidden

Disclaimer: No..it doesn't belong to me..Rinariel does...but not lotr...*sobs*  
  
The Diary of an Orc - Continued.  
  
*~*~*  
  
My wound is certainly taking its time, maybe it's a side effect form the spell. These days, I focus my raw anger on Saruman. I swear that if I find him, I'll severe his head from his body, but not before he dissolves the spell that makes me look like an Orc.  
  
Now, Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas and I pursue the Uruk-Hai that have taken hostage two of our companions, Meriadoc and Peregrin.  
  
This journey we take is long and tiring, I have not been without a day when I have not felt ready to drop dead in exhaustion. I try my hardest not to complain, though there is always a comment on the tip of my tongue, waiting to be said.  
  
Just a moment before, I spotted an elven brooch that was lying in a large footprint. I picked it up and deposited it into the hands of Aragorn.  
  
"Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall." He said quietly, studying the brooch closely.  
  
"They may yet be alive!" Legolas exclaimed when he saw the brooch. Our spirits were lifted and we continued in a much better mood.  
  
"One dropped this to show us that we are on the right track." I said quietly to myself. I waited back for Gimli as he often dropped far behind, not used to the length of the runs.  
  
He came tumbling down a hill, just stopping short of a jagged look. I gasped as he fell towards it, and then smiled as he pulled himself up and complained bitterly.  
  
"Come on, Gimli." I called, running forwards to catch up with the other two.  
  
"I am wasted on cross-country!" I heard him growl after me.  
  
I laughed and kept running.  
  
"We dwarves are natural sprinters!" He called to me; I could hear his puffing close behind. "Very dangerous over short distances!"  
  
"I don't doubt you for a second," I called back, nearly choking with laughter. I am glad for him company; he is a constant spirit lifter. "But think of this as a very long sprint."  
  
I heard his loud chuckle behind me and paused to wait for him to catch up.  
  
Ahead, Aragorn and Legolas had stopped, looking out over vast plains.  
  
"Rohan." He said shortly, his eyes narrowed in confusion. "Home of the horse-lords. There is something strange at work here. Some evil gives speed to these creatures; sets its will against us.  
  
"I bet its Saruman," I said under my breath, looking ahead to see the Uruks. I could barely see them, they were a lot closer than before, but they were still a long way ahead.  
  
Legolas ran forward to get a better look and gazed out into the horizon.  
  
"Legolas, what do you see?" I called, leaning against a rock, my strength wavering.  
  
"The Uruks turn north-east." He called out, narrowing his eyes.  
  
Fear clutched at my chest, and I struggled to breath. I knew what he would say next, but didn't want to hear it. I sucked in a few breaths and tried to compose myself, but the dread was very real.  
  
"They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!"  
  
"No!" I whimpered, struggling to keep to my feet. I was angry with myself for being so weak, but I knew fear was better than uncontrollable anger.  
  
Legolas and Aragorn turned away from the horizon and continued on their way.  
  
"Surely you can't be continuing!" I gasped out, cursing myself immediately.  
  
Aragorn turned a frowned. "Why not? We have nearly caught them!"  
  
I just shook my head and tried to keep from choking.  
  
"Saruman..." I choked out, tears streaming down my face as I coughed. I didn't even know why I was crying...shame?  
  
*~*~*  
  
I haven't spoken to anyone since the day before yesturday for I am too numbed with fear.  
  
I dislike fear and haven't met anyone who liked it, save the Evenstar. Arwen was a sucker for fear; she loved the rush of being in a situation you couldn't control.  
  
Remembering the Evenstar brings tears to my eyes as I remember days long forgotten. I wish now that she were here, I need the friend. Being in Lothlorien made me realise what I sorely missed, the companionship, the beauty, the grace..  
  
As we travel further into the night, I drop further and further behind, not wanting to catch the Uruks. I feel like a coward, but I cannot possibly bear the risk of being caught. I have already annoyed Saruman greatly once and look what he did to me!  
  
I cannot even see Gimli anymore and am getting worried. I shouldn't have dawdled so much. This is the darkest night I have ever seen, not even the crickets have come out the chirp.  
  
I feel the chill of grief hit me as a stumble on alone in this dead night. The moon light is weak, I must find the others!  
  
*~*~*  
  
I didn't catch up with the others until late this morning and I scored yet another arrow wound for it! Legolas must have been half asleep! The Orcs and Uruk-Hai we pursue are in front of them, not behind them!  
  
Luckily, I only got hit in the arm, then Legolas realised who I was and ran to apologise.  
  
"I think it's a bit to late for that, don't you think?" I sneered, pushing him away.  
  
I don't know why I have been acting so horrible these last few days, I feel like I am drowning in a cold river of anger and depression. It scares me, though I can tell no one. Who would listen anyway?  
  
*~*~*  
  
"They run as if the very whips of their masters were behind them!"  
  
That's the only comment even vaguely directed at me all day. I'm not surprised; I've been in a foul mood, glaring at anyone who opens their mouth to say something.  
  
Another day, another long scuttle over barren rock.  
  
*~*~*  
  
"A red sun rises, blood has been spilt this night."  
  
Legolas ignored my glares and spoke anyway.  
  
Today I hung back from the others and surveyed the terrain around me, hoping to spot something in the distance. All I can see is the faint traces of smoke hanging over where Isengard is. I don't get the usual stab of fear when I look at Isengard now, just old resentment.  
  
*~*~*  
  
This day has been rather eventful.  
  
First of all, we ran into a large party of Rohirrim Riders. Although I was hidden completely in the folds of my elvish cloak and stayed behind Aragorn or Legolas, I was given foul looks from the Riders.  
  
"What business does an dwarf, a man, an elf and..." The captain paused, waiting for me to reveal myself.  
  
The captain sighed impatiently when I remained silent. "Will you not reveal yourself, stranger?"  
  
"No..." I said as normally as I could, knowing that if they discovered me to be an Orc, they would not be as understanding as the Fellowship had been.  
  
I felt the sharp point of a spear pressing between my shoulder blades.  
  
"Reveal yourself, or been thrown from these lands!" A prickly voice demanded.  
  
"I wish not to.." I said, my mind racing for excuses. "I walked hidden, cloaked for a reason, Horse Master."  
  
I saw Aragorn stiffen. He turned to face me, a warning look on his face.  
  
"And why is that?" The captain asked sharply.  
  
"I..." My voice faltered.  
  
"She is in mourning." Legolas said quickly, moving closer to me and placing an arm around my shoulder. I hung my head, hiding my face from the others.  
  
"It is our custom." He lied, looking the captain in the eye. "She has received news of her brothers death, it is our custom to remain hidden until the grief passes." I let a held breath out as silently as I could as I felt the spear point disappear.  
  
The captain didn't look too convinced..in fact, he looked almost suspicious.  
  
"An Elf?" He asked, causing me to shudder violently. 'I wish!' I felt like screaming.  
  
"Yes," Legolas said harshly.  
  
I turned away from the captain and faced my gaze on the ground.  
  
"Leave her," I heard Aragorn say, picking up the story. "She is weary."  
  
The captain shuffled impatiently.  
  
"You still have not answered my question, why are you here? Speak quickly!" He snapped.  
  
"I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, this is Gimli son of Gloin, Legolas of the Woodland realm, and Lady Rinariel of Lothlorien."  
  
I turned and caught a glimpse of the captain scowling.  
  
"We are friends of Rohan and Theoden, your king."  
  
The captain sighed and dismounted his horse, passing his spear to another.  
  
"Theoden no longer recognises friend from foe, not even his own kin."  
  
I tuned out to the captain and focused my gaze on smoke in the distance. I frowned at the smell reached me. I choked on the air, recognising the smell as burning flesh.  
  
"The Uruks are destroyed." The captain I heard the captain say as he removed his helmet, revealing a mass of blonde hair and two keen blue eyes. "We slaughtered them in the night."  
  
I felt something jump in my stomach, had our pursuit been in vain?  
  
"There were two hobbits!" Gimli choked out in shock and worry, his whole face was transformed, sadness dragging down the cheerful creases around his eyes. "Did you see two hobbits with them?" His voice was a whisper now, his eyes desperate and demanding, boring into the eyes of the captain, waiting impatiently for an answer.  
  
I decided to speak up.  
  
"They would be small, only children to your eyes." I whispered, trying to keep the harshness of the Orc tongue out of my words.  
  
The captain watched me carefully as he answered, the suspicion still in his eyes.  
  
"We left none alive. We piled the ..." His voice blurred into a buzz. They couldn't be dead!  
  
The smell of burning flesh pressed into my senses, the ground around me spun.  
  
"I am sorry.." He said quietly, in reply to something Gimli had said. I felt the anger build up and turned my back to the captain, hot tears pricking in my eyes.  
  
"This news must be hard on you, Lady." The captain continued, moving towards me and placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.  
  
I flinched nervously and nodded, pulling my hood lower over my face. Thankfully, he moved away, whistling as he went.  
  
"Hasufel! Arod!" He called; passing the reins of the two horses that came forward to Legolas and Aragorn.  
  
"May these horses bear you to better fortune than their former masters." The captain said, mounting his horse.  
  
He called a command to his men, and as quickly as they had come, they left, leaving the faint smell of horse floating in the air.  
  
I eyed one of the horses carefully.  
  
"They will not carry me." I said quietly, walking ahead towards the smoke.  
  
Who knows what we will find there.  
  
*~*~*  
  
"Do not trust to hope."  
  
That's the last thing the captain said to us, before leading his men north.  
  
It was a long, solemn walk to where the bodies burned.  
  
The hobbits are alive, thankfully, but there is much confusion as to why they weren't killed. Aragorn spotted the tracks of two hobbits running through the flattened grass.  
  
They lead towards Fangorn Forest.  
  
I am with Gimli on this one, what madness drove them in there?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hey pplz, I'm sorry this took a while to write, but the Eomer/Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli part is so long! Also, I still can't get my copy of the script, please say if I've screwed anything up.  
  
Please r&r! I hope to get the next chapter up soon, but I'm quite busy this week so I don't know when I'll be able to upload the next chapter. 


	9. Accusation

Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine.  
  
The Diary of an Orc - Continued  
  
*~*~*  
  
Orc blood.  
  
It is everywhere, a trail leading deep into the haunting darkness of Fangorn.  
  
No one has spoken for a long time; we all feel the presence of..something. The air feels too close and every drawn breath is a struggle. This forest is one of nightmares, one that troubles even the strong willed.  
  
No one has seemed to notice the blood. I don't know if Legolas has, he should have. If he has, he isn't saying anything about it. A troubled look occupies his face, as if he can sense something foul approaching.  
  
"These are strange tracks." Aragorns rugged voice shatters the silence that had been plaguing us since we entered this forest.  
  
Gimli stopped and wiped something from a leaf. He brought his fingers close to his face and sniffed.  
  
"Pah!" He spat, wiping his fingers on his sleeve. "Orc blood!"  
  
Suddenly, the trees started moaning and creaking, their branches swaying in an unfelt wind. I sudden chill sent shivers through me and I watched the trees carefully.  
  
"The air is so close in here." Gimli muttered, also watching the trees.  
  
"This forest is old." I said quietly, staring at the ground. Aragorn was right, there were strange tracks on the ground. I knelt and fingered on gently.  
  
"Very old." Legolas corrected, casting the trees a brief, fearful glance. "Full of memories, and anger."  
  
Gimli unclipped his axe and held it, ready for an ambush. The trees seemed to react to this, a low moaning sound escaping from one of them.  
  
I had heard of trees like these before. Ones that moved and talked to each other, but never had I come across them. I stood quickly, brushing dirt from my hands.  
  
"The trees are speaking to each other." I murmured softly.  
  
"Gimli!" Aragorn called to the dwarf. "Lower your axe!"  
  
As he did, a feeling of danger overwhelmed me. I looked around fearfully, struggling to see this invisible threat.  
  
"Aragorn!" Legolas called, striding away from Gimli and I. "Nad no ennas!"  
  
The sound of his clear elvish voice speaking a tongue I so longed to speak cut through me, leaving me trembling with self-pity.  
  
"What is it?" I heard Aragorn reply in elvish. Again, the painful memories of being an elf flittered through my exhausted mind.  
  
"The White Wizard approaches."  
  
*~*~*  
  
It was not as I feared. I was ready to kill myself with my own sword, ready to end my life before Saruman could torture me further. Even though we elves reverence life and suicide is considered blasphemy, I could not bear the thought of Saruman getting his hands on me.  
  
We were all ready to attack Saruman, to get him before he held us with the spell that is his voice, but as we turned to attack, our weapons were suddenly untouchable, the metal of my sword burned into my flesh, causing me to drop it in pain.  
  
Before we could react, the wizard spoke.  
  
"You are tracking the footsteps of two young Hobbits?" He said, his voice sounding suspiciously like Saruman's. I felt a sudden, but fierce anger stir in me and before I knew it, I was running towards the blinding white that was my enemy.  
  
"Where are they?" Aragorn demanded of the wizard, his voice tight with anger and a hint of fear. I was suddenly frozen in place, my legs stuck to the ground as if my feet had rapidly grown roots.  
  
"The passed this way the day before yesturday. They met someone they did not expect."  
  
'You' I though bitterly, struggling against the bounds that held me.  
  
"Does that comfort you?"  
  
'No.' I tried to retort, but my tongue was held fast.  
  
"Who are you?" Aragorn shouted, holding a hand up to protect his eyes from the glare emitted by the wizard.  
  
The light seemed to glow brighter before it dimmed completely, revealing the face of Mithrandir.  
  
"My eyes deceive me!" I gasped, my tongue released from the spell.  
  
"It cannot be!" Aragorn said, his voice unbelieving. Beside him, Legolas had knelt to the ground and Gimli stood with his head bowed. I then turned and bent my knee, kneeling to the ground before the wizard.  
  
"You fell!" Aragorns voice was now a whisper; he took a few steps forward, but stopped uncertainly.  
  
"Through fire, and water." Mithrandir replied, his tone direct. "From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak, I fought him, the Balrog of Morgoth."  
  
I listened, rapt with his sudden appearance and his story, I looked up, the white glare was gone and in its place a seemly aged man dressed in white and carrying a white staff.  
  
"Until at last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside. Darkness took me." I gasped involuntarily, the thought of straying through the dark alone terrifying me. I rose slowly and stepped back to join the others.  
  
"I strayed out of thought and time." Mithrandir continued, a wry smile on his face. "Stars wheeled overhead and each day was as long as a life age of the earth. But it was not the end. I felt life in me again. I've been sent back until my task is done."  
  
"Gandalf!" Gimli said, a smile covered his crinkled face.  
  
Mithrandir smiled absently and mused over what Gimli had addressed him as.  
  
"Gandalf?" He questioned quietly as if Gimli had called him the wrong name. "Oh yes! That's what they used to call me. Gandalf the Grey. That was my name."  
  
I grinned at this. This was definitely Gandalf.  
  
"Gandalf!" Gimli said again, shuffling in his place.  
  
"I am Gandalf the White now." Mithrandir replied, a worried look crossing his face briefly. "And I come back to you at the turning of the tide."  
  
I smiled at Mithrandir was he caught my eye.  
  
"Welcome back, Mithrandir." I said quietly.  
  
"Oh yes, now, you are still in that horrible form? No offence meant of course." He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling adorably.  
  
ICK! Did I just call Mithrandir adorable? Uh..moving on...  
  
His smile made me ache with happiness. "Stop it!" I burst, feeling a cheesy smile widening over my face. "There is only so much relief and happiness one can endure, you'll make me explode!"  
  
Mithrandir laughed, but his eyes stayed serious and motionless, not even the magnitude of his smile could touch his troubled, unwavering eyes.  
  
"We must leave.." Mithrandir said, his voice remote. "We must leave Fangorn, your search for the two hobbits is over, they are in good hands."  
  
So Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and I followed the changed wizard out of Fangorn, our steps faster and surer now that we followed a true guide.  
  
*~*~*  
  
This morning we arrived at Edoras, stopping a few miles before the great town to marvel at its beauty.  
  
"Edoras and the Golden Hall of Meduseld, King of Rohan, whose mind is overthrown and Saruman's hold over King Théoden is now very strong." Mithrandir said softly as Edoras came into view.  
  
"Saruman?" I squeaked, feeling the old fear creeping back.  
  
Mithrandir turned in his saddle. He was riding a magnificent white horse, Shadowfax, the Lord of all horses, as Mithrandir said. I shared a saddle with Aragorn, and Legolas with Gimli.  
  
"You must learn to conquer your fear of Saruman, Rinariel." He said firmly, his eyes changing slightly. I shivered and nodded.  
  
Before we entered the city's gates, Mithrandir held me back from the others, making me dismount and urging Aragorn to go forward.  
  
"It will not hold for long." Mithrandir said quietly, his hand on my shoulder. Confused, I began to ask what he meant, but his silenced me with the wave of his hand.  
  
"Change into your elvish clothes," He ordered, looking away as I did. "They will see you in your elvish form, Ariel of Lothlorien."  
  
My breath caught painfully in my throat.  
  
"The spell Saruman placed on you is strong, once his presence is driven from this place, I'm sure it will be easier to dismantle." He took my hand and we walked into the city together.  
  
"But, do not trust to hope, I'm not making any promises." He said gently as we joined Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli.  
  
I looked at my feet, and realised disgustedly that I could still see myself as and Orc.  
  
I had changed into a dress that my Lady had given me in Lothlorien, a beautifully made dress embroidered with the recognisable symbol of an elf from Lothlorien. I gasped when I realised that if I looked at myself for a long time, I could see the creamy paleness of my real skin beneath the scars of the Orc skin that had covered me for so long.  
  
I was so wrapped up in the wonders of the spell Mithrandir had placed upon me that I didn't even mind as a company of guards took our weapons from us.  
  
As we entered the Golden Hall, Mithrandir leaned on Legolas heavily, to convince the guards that he did really need his staff as they had tried to take it from him, along with our weapons.  
  
I walked behind Aragorn, the chill of fear sweeping up my body, making my shiver uncontrollably.  
  
The King, Théoden of Rohan, was a terrible sight. His skin was wrinkled, pale and shrunken, like one who had soaked in a bath for too long. He looked as if he would crumble beneath ones fingers if they dared to touch him.  
  
His eyes opened slowly, revealing two faded blue eyes. He followed me with his haunted eyes, his expression hungry.  
  
I drew closer to Aragorn and slipped my arm through his unconsciously. He didn't seem to mind, or he didn't notice, his keen eyes watched the shadows where I could see men hanging back, watching us closely.  
  
"The courtesy of your hall is somewhat lessened of late, Théoden-King." Gandalf called to the King who seemed on the point of death.  
  
From the shadows around the throne, a man stepped out. I recognised him immediately. Grima Wormtongue.  
  
His eyes surveyed us all, his gaze resting upon me. I shivered under his gaze and half hid myself behind Aragorn.  
  
Grima smiled and sniggered to himself, his eyes never leaving me.  
  
"He is not welcome" I heard Grima hiss into Théoden's ear.  
  
"Why should I welcome you, Gandalf Stormcrow?" The king croaked, his eerie voice echoing off the stone walls.  
  
I tuned out and watched Grima carefully. I remembered him, a loyal servant to Saruman. I was sure he knew who I was.  
  
Suddenly, the king stopped and his stare returned to me.  
  
"She is not welcome here." He said firmly, his voice clear. "She is a spy! Destroy her!"  
  
I started hyperventilating, the fear overwhelming me for a few moments before I could regain my composure.  
  
One of the guards in the shadows notched an arrow.  
  
"I'm going to die." I whimpered in a voice I did not know was mine.  
  
At the Kings command, the arrow flew.  
  
'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`  
  
Finally, another chapter! I'm really sorry that this took me ages to write; I started it last week and just finished it today.  
  
Please R&R! I love all your reviews! You keep me going when I feel like I have no ideas left. Thanks to all my reviewers! 


	10. Amulet

Disclaimer: Not.. mine...*sniffles*  
  
A/N: Sorry for leaving such an awful cliffhanger, I didn't mean to. *hides* I hope its not that predictable, I HATE predictable! Enjoy, I'm trying to get this up as soon as possible, I know how annoying it is to be left on a cliffhanger.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
The Diary of an Orc - Continued  
  
*~*~*  
  
Breathe...it's just an arrow.  
  
Yes, it IS an arrow, but it happens to be speeding in my direction.  
  
*~*~* Aragorn *~*~*  
  
I've never seen anyone look so panic-stricken. Of course, I shouldn't have worried; I have seen an elf pluck an arrow from the air, inches away from their face. But what worried me is when Ariel froze, her expression like one that knows they are to die.  
  
She snapped out of her little dream and snatched the arrow away from her chest just in time, it still makes me shudder whenever I think of it. Théoden gave the command to kill Ariel, and that still confuses me. How can a king who is smothered by the power of Saruman, smothered like a blanket wrapped tight, can command his guard to shoot an elf who he has never seen before in his life.  
  
Everyone froze in place as Ariel dropped the arrow in shock and blinked, staring at the floor. Legolas and I breathed easy; Gimli clutched his chest and growled at Ariel, scolding her quietly for not moving, and Gandalf smiled sadly, his gaze settling on Théoden. Beside Théoden stood Grima, a wretched servant of Saruman.  
  
The King sat back in his throne and glared at Ariel, his clouded blue eyes showing furious rage.  
  
"I said-"  
  
"Théoden, son of Thengel. Too long have you sat in shadows." Gandalf interrupted, bringing forth his staff and advancing towards the throne where the King sat.  
  
"His staff!' Grima complained, glaring at the guards that lurked in the shadows. "I told you to take the wizards staff!"  
  
Guards rushed at us from all sides, trying to get the Gandalf. We took them all on, forcing them back.  
  
Gandalf kept advancing towards the King, his staff held out in front of him.  
  
If I may say so, he looked quite menacing.  
  
*~*~* Legolas *~*~*  
  
Ariel caught that arrow beautifully, though I did think she might have had to catch the cursed arrow with her chest, as that is what it sure looked like.  
  
Théoden king is now released of Saruman's spell and Grima, the foul servant with the tongue of a snake, has been driven from Edoras. He has probably run back to his master, like a whipped dog, and complained of his ill treatment.  
  
Ariel has returned to her Orc form and remains hidden while Mithrandir studies the spell that holds her carefully.  
  
Mithrandir has confided to me that he fears that the spell that holds her may kill her if the wrong person removes it. I was so shocked at this that I nearly urged him to leave her as she is, but I remembered myself and kept my mouth closed.  
  
The city of Edoras is to empty, all its residents are to make for the refuge of Helm's Deep. I hope Mithrandir is able to find a way to lift the spell before he leaves, which he is planning to do soon.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Mithrandir has just left Edoras and I sit here with an amulet in my hands. I am scared to try it, I have worn it once to see if it worked and it does. It lifts the spell that binds me while I wear it.  
  
I am trying not to let my hopes rise to high as the spell is only lifted while I wear the amulet. I have looked at the clothes given to me by Altriel and realise at once what she meant when she told me her final message before we left. She knew.  
  
Unfortunately, the spell cannot be dissolved completely unless Saruman lifts it, or he dies. Otherwise, I would die.  
  
I haven't seen or told the others about the amulet, Mithrandir told me to be subtle. That's the problem. Rinariel of Lothlorien doesn't know how to be subtle.  
  
We are to leave Edoras and travel to the refuge of Helm's Deep. Now that King Théoden has been released from the spell of Saruman and his filthy servant driven from this kingdom, the presence of evil has lifted, though I can feel something stirring.  
  
I pity King Théoden, he has lost his son, and now he must leave his home, force his people to leave their homes, and sit idle, hoping no one will attack them.  
  
The king's niece, Éowyn has just come into view so I just slipped the amulet around my neck. The change is immediate! Now, instead of being a miserable looking Orc hunched over a low table, a candle flickering in the darkness, I am a young elf maiden clutching an amulet.  
  
*~*~*  
  
The road to Helm's Deep is long..and boring. Never have I been so fed up! The others were mildly surprised to see me as..well..myself..but when I explained about the amulet, they all looked completely shocked, and overjoyed.  
  
If I were a jealous type, I'd ask why they were being even nicer to me now that I look normal. I do wonder though...  
  
*~*~*  
  
Éowyn loves Aragorn.  
  
I can see it and it wrenches my heart everytime I see the look on her face, I do not know whether she knows about the Evenstar or not. Aragorn seems oblivious to this show of affection and I think he must be rather blind.  
  
I walked a long way today; only a few people were riding. Most of the horses trot without riders, but all carry possessions and food.  
  
We are travelling in a long column, the warriors evenly placed throughout, always checking for danger.  
  
Aragorn spent most of the day riding, lazy man. Gimli chatted cheerily with Éowyn about dwarf women. He was laughing and talking, when suddenly his horse bolted forward, forcing Gimli to fall.  
  
*~*~*  
  
We were attacked today, by the wolves of Isengard. I would have fought, but King Theoden ordered me to help his niece Éowyn lead the Rohirrim to Helm's Deep.  
  
As we lead the people, Éowyn grumbled about it not being fair.  
  
"I know you can fight," I said quietly to her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. She smiled, but it didn't last long.  
  
"Why do I always have to stay back from the battle?" She asked me, twisted the sleeve of her gown in her fingers.  
  
"They want to protect you." I said quietly, tucking a stray piece hair behind my ears. I felt an unexpected sensation of joy when I felt the pointed tips.  
  
I heard Éowyn sigh beside me.  
  
"You elves are so beautiful." She remarked, watching me closely. I thought I saw envy in her clear blue eyes.  
  
"We have our moments." I replied. I paused, listening for the people. When I turned, they were there, following meekly like sheep.  
  
"You love Aragorn." I said quietly, watching for her reaction. She shivered slightly and avoided my eyes.  
  
"Yes." She whispered in reply.  
  
An uncomfortable silence stretched, but we arrived at Helm's Deep shortly after. The Rohirrim breathed loud sighs of relief, and word passed back through the column. We had arrived.  
  
It was impossible to stay with Éowyn, she busied herself with helping her people settle into Helm's Deep, but I think she was just trying to keep herself away from me.  
  
I sat alone, nervously waiting for the others to return.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Aragorn is dead.  
  
It has taken me at least an hour to write those words, they hurt too much. He...he fell. There was a fight, a bloody battle between the riders of Rohan and the wolves of Isengard.  
  
Fury burns inside my soul, but bitter sadness and grief overcomes the suffocating anger. I see anger in Legolas' eyes, but sadness is the air about him. He hasn't spoken a word since he returned and stands now, alone, as if waiting for Aragorn to return.  
  
Gimli is grieving also, though he doesn't show it as much. He cried, quietly, at first, but now he insists on helping everyone. I know that he is keeping himself so busy that he cannot think and it is sad to watch this cheerful creature by nature going through so much pain.  
  
I have walked the crowed corridors of this fort and wonder if the Rohirrim can indeed protect it from attack. I have heard that there are caves under the fort in which the women and children will hide if we do come under attack.  
  
Helm's Deep is a trap. There is no escape from this rock prison. The walls behind the fort as solid rock.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Éowyn could not look at me all day. I knew that she would feel the pain deep inside her and her pain would be worse tha mine, or Gimli's. We have been here at Helm's Deep for two days now and I am already feeling restless.  
  
Gimli and I chatted about anything we could think of and we both knew why.  
  
I even polished a few weapons. I was so bored. Elves should not be kept idle!  
  
I was wiping the blade of an old, used sword when Éowyn came into the armoury.  
  
"You do not need to do that." She said in a brisk tone. I didn't stop.  
  
"I need something to do, something to keep me from thinking." I replied, polishing the hilt. I noticed that the hilt had a design in the shape of a horse.  
  
"Do something else." She snapped, picking up a sword.  
  
"You are skilled in the art of battle." I said, rubbing away years worth of filth.  
  
"Yes." She hissed, swinging the sword experimentally.  
  
"Would you like to practise?"  
  
"What?" She squawked, nearly dropping her sword in disbelief. "You are some precious elf maiden with centuries to live...eternity, I would hate to waste your time. Besides, I'm afraid that if I touch even one golden hair on your precious head, that you'll break."  
  
I dropped the sword in shock. Then, before I could get a clear thought through my head, I had picked up my bow and had an arrow drawn, the point resting on the tip of her nose.  
  
Éowyn drew a deep breath, fear playing across her face.  
  
"Now you tell me who's the precious one." I said in a low tone. I had no idea why Éowyn had made me so angry, and I had no idea why she had said such a thing to me.  
  
"I'm sorry." She squeaked, holding her hands up.  
  
I drew the arrow away from her face and tucked the arrow away, my fingers trembling as I did so.  
  
"I am to." I said, drawing a haggard breath. "Why does idleness and the fear of attack turn people against each other when we should stand together?  
  
Éowyn shook her head and picked up the sword I had been polishing.  
  
"You have done a good job." She said quietly, clearly wanting to avoid the question. "You may continue, if you wish. I am sorry for disturbing you."  
  
"My offer still stands." I returned, accepting the sword when she handed it to me.  
  
"I know." She said softly and left the room.  
  
*~*~*  
  
There is still no sign of an attack, the Rohirrim are getting restless and Legolas and Gimli are still grieving. Éowyn has avoided me since our exchange yesturday and King Theoden sighs and paces the hallways, waiting for a sign of .. anything.  
  
This morning I forced Legolas to take a walk with me, a long one, one that took us to a peaceful clearing with a shallow stream and a few trees. I looked at the poor, wizened trees and sighed longingly. I was very homesick.  
  
I stroked the bark gently, memories of doing the same in Lothlórien to the trees, young and old, coming back to me. I stood there for a second, reliving some memories that had been long forgotten.  
  
Legolas sat near the stream and stared into the water for a long time, not speaking, not moving.  
  
I climbed one of the old trees and sat in its upper branches, gazing across the plains. I felt a peace here in this quiet place. It was hidden by a rise of rock. The air was fresh there. I breathed several deep breaths of the fresh air and scanned the plains for any signs of life. I sat there for a long time, dreaming of Aragorn coming riding over the plains before my eyes.  
  
When I decided we should return, I climbed down from the tree to see Legolas standing up and handing something to me. I took his hand to help me down and took the thing from his hands.  
  
"You would be able to give this to Arwen." He said quietly, the first words he had uttered in days. It was the Evenstar. My mouth gaped; I turned the Evenstar over in my fingers and watched it as it glowed steadily, showing Arwen's undying love for Aragorn.  
  
Legolas took my hand and covered the Evenstar with my fingers.  
  
"Look after it well, Ariel." He then turned my hand over and kissed it tenderly before turning and running back towards Helm's Deep.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Please R&R! And thanks so much for your reviews! I hope I didn't make you wait too long for this chapter!!!!!!!!! 


	11. Anger

Disclaimer: Lotr isn't mine, it belongs to J.R.R Tolkien.  
  
A/N: Thanks so much for your awesome reviews! You guys are so sweet; it always keeps me going when I feel like stopping!  
The Diary of an Orc - Continued  
  
*~*~*  
  
Another long day has passed. I polished a few more swords but even that gets boring after awhile.  
  
Most of the women and children have begun to settle into the caves, clearing the passageways a little. It is a sad sight to see the gloomy faces walking the hallways with no real purpose.  
  
They are so quiet, and their eyes look dead.  
  
Legolas has seemed to disappear since our walk, I hope he hasn't gone and done something stupid.  
  
I'm really noticing the absence of Aragorn now. Sometimes I look for him, I forget that he's...gone. I even asked Gimli today, though he looked at me like I'd made a horrible joke.  
  
I was walking around outside the walls, trying to elude the watch guards so I wouldn't get in trouble when I thought of something I'd like the ask Aragorn. It was about Éowyn, I wanted to ask Aragorn what he thought of her.  
  
I saw Gimli chatting to one of the Rohirrim, talking about anything, and everything.  
  
"Gimli," I ask quietly when the two had stopped talking. "Have you seen...Aragorn?" I asked, realising at the last moment what I'd just said.  
  
"Oh no." I gasped, looking at Gimli's pale face. "Oh no, I'm sorry." I made a hasty retreat and cursed myself for being so stupid.  
  
The day stretches into the night, the tension so thick one could slice the air with their sword. Everyone is nervous, restless, grumpy and unfriendly. The once smiling eyes are now bleak with despair.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Oh no! My eyes are playing cruel tricks on me! I swear that there is someone riding a horse over that hill, it looks like Aragorn.  
  
It IS Aragorn. Oh no...my poor deceived eyes..I can't believe I am seeing this. Maybe I'm going blind!  
  
*~*~*  
  
It WAS Aragorn! I can't explain what I'm feeling right now....it's too big to describe. Legolas resurfaced long enough to see Aragorn and now is talking a lot more then he was.  
  
Apparently Aragorn was engaged in a battle with a Warg and its rider, but the rider was unseated and the Warg dragged Aragorn over a cliff. The two went plunging into a swift, deep river and Aragorn was left for dead.  
  
Gimli was overjoyed to see Aragorn again. So overjoyed that he said: "Where is he? Where is he? Get out of my way! I'm gonna kill him!"  
  
I still had the Evenstar when I saw him, but I gave it back to Legolas before Aragorn could get to the two of us.  
  
"You saved it from the unknown," I said quietly as Aragorn approached, "It is not my part to return it to him."  
  
Aragorn nearly walked straight into Legolas, as he was looking at the flagstones and running a hand through his hair, not paying attention to that in front of him.  
  
Legolas just looked at Aragorn soberly, a serious expression on his face; so serious that I almost burst out laughing, elation overwhelming me.  
  
"You're late." Legolas snapped in elvish, a disapproving look on his face. Aragorn looked worried for a second, but in realising that Legolas was joking, he let out a laugh and clapped his hand on Legolas' shoulder.  
  
I stood there, feeling invisible, but the joy radiating from the reunion between the two friends kept me from self-pity.  
  
"You look terrible." Legolas said bluntly, worry creeping into his eyes. I turned away as Legolas gave Aragorn the Evenstar, old memories slinking into my mind, causing me to cringe. I saw Éowyn watching from afar, a hopeful look on her face.  
  
The poor girl, she was near crying in relief. I saw the hopeful look fade from her face when I guessed that Legolas gave Aragorn the Evenstar. She met my gaze and turned away to flee.  
  
"Éowyn!" I called, but she had gone.  
  
*~*~*  
  
An army of ten thousand! An army of ten thousand Uruks and Orcs head this way. I don't mean to crush the hope, but there is NO WAY Helm's Deep can be defended.  
  
Everyone knows that Helm's Deep cannot be saved. All except the King. He has to be optimistic though, because otherwise all would be lost and we'd all be best running for our lives now. All women and children have been ordered into the caves, though I have managed to hide myself pretty well. The King should be grateful for the extra elven archer as there was only Legolas before.  
  
I spoke with Éowyn again this evening, she is furious that she cannot fight, but accepts that there must be someone to lead her people in the caves if the Keep falls to the enemy. When I asked her about the Evenstar and Aragorn, she ignored my question and asked about the amulet I wore.  
  
"Oh, just a token from a friend." I mumbled.  
  
"May I look at it a little more closely? It looks valuable." She said, picking it up in her small hands. I pulled the amulet gently from her hands.  
  
"I'm sorry." I said, avoiding her eyes. "I cannot take it off."  
  
She nodded, but her disappointment was poorly hidden.  
  
Just before her uncle made her go back into the caves, she came out of the armoury with two swords.  
  
"I accept your offer." She said, placing one of the swords at my feet. I shook my head confused, I had completely forgotten about practising with her.  
  
"Your offer to fight with me!" She exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "Oh right, sorry, you probably don't want to dirty your nails."  
  
I smiled and stepped on the tip of the sword blade, making the hilt lift up to hand height. I took the hilt and swung the sword around.  
  
Éowyn swung her blade at me faster than I expected, catching me off guard. I let out a squeak of surprise and took the defensive stance.  
  
"I hope these are blunt" I commented as I pushed her sword off mine and attacked her in a fast series of chops and swings. My sword skills were unsurprisingly rusty, but I was still gaining points off Éowyn as she failed to find weak spots in my attack.  
  
Éowyn grunted in reply and took a practised swing at my legs; I jumped off the ground, turning in the air and landing behind Éowyn, my back to her. Before I could turn to face her, I felt a skinny arm wrapping itself around my neck, the cool blade of Éowyn's sword resting lightly against my neck.  
  
"Hah." She said triumphantly. I imagined a cocky smile on her face and grinned. "If I were the enemy, you'd be dead by now." She commented, loosening her grip a little.  
  
"Funny," I said, wriggling slightly in her grip. I had to get in the right position to carry out my next move. "I didn't think I'd be anywhere near death."  
  
I then turned violently in her grip, forcing the sword blade away with my right hand and slipping my left shoulder under Éowyn's hip. Before she could move, I had tossed her into the air. She landed with a heavy thud on the flagstones; her sword skidded away from her hand and into a dark corner.  
  
"Ouff!" She said, laughing at her downfall. "Never trust an elf!" She said jokingly.  
  
I walked over to her and drew my dagger. "Now who'd be dead?"  
  
Éowyn squirmed and sat up, her pale cheeks flushed. "You." She said stiffly and threw her weight at me, pinning me underneath her.  
  
"Ladies, ladies!" A voice said, startling us both. I turned to see an amused looking Aragorn and a laughing Legolas.  
  
Éowyn jumped to her feet, blushing furiously, and started straightening her clothes. Unlike me, she had been wearing a dress, I hadn't noticed before. She fought so well in one.  
  
"Beaten?" Legolas choked, his face red with laughter. "Ariel of Lothlorien beaten by a mere human?"  
  
Éowyn flared to his remark and threw her sword, blunt or not, at Legolas, expecting to hurt him.  
  
"Mere human I am not." She growled angrily, her eyes flashing.  
  
Legolas caught the sword and flipped it in the air, catching the blade carefully and handing the sword back to Eowyn, hilt first.  
  
Éowyn snatched the sword angrily and Legolas only just saved his fingers from being removed from his hand.  
  
As Éowyn stalked form the room, I scowled at Legolas in a non-serious way and slapped his shoulder. "That wasn't very nice."  
  
He revealed a hand with four of the fingers with fine cuts on them. Aragorn suddenly burst out laughing.  
  
"Beaten by a mere human." He choked as Legolas blushed in embarrassment.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Legolas shares this thought that Helm's Deep cannot be saved and has spent the last hour complaining to me about it. I don't really see how he can complain; three hundred is better then one or two.  
  
Of course, he would be used to having many elven archers at hand, more than accurate with arrows and deadly with swords. I would feel more comfortable with this attack with at least a few elven archers, but we'll have to make do with what we've got.  
  
I've heard that the enemy is no more than two hours away and the feeling is very unsettling. I cannot believe that this day is the same that Aragorn reappeared, it seems so long. Even though days are nothing compared to the long centuries our people live, this day is certainly a very long day.  
  
Earlier this evening, Legolas got a little more then annoyed with Aragorn.  
  
"Farmers, farriers, stable boys." Aragorn commented while in the armoury, helping the people of Rohan select their weapons. "These are no soldiers."  
  
"Most have seen too many winters." Gimli muttered, leaning on his axe, watching the older men outfit themselves.  
  
"Or too few." Legolas said bitterly, looking at the young boys, anger and sorrow in his eyes. They're frightened, I can see it in their eyes."  
  
His last comment was said too loud and silence fell upon the armoury, all eyes on Legolas and Aragorn.  
  
"And they should be!" He snarled in elvish, knowing that only Aragorn and I could understand him. "Three hundred against ten thousand!"  
  
"Legolas-" I started to say something but the poison in the glare he shot me stopped me from going any further. I sat back with Gimli and tried not to grumble.  
  
"Si beriathar hýn ammaeg nâ ned Edoras" Aragorn replied, casting a nervous look at the Rohirrim.  
  
"What are they saying, lass?" Gimli mumbled so that only I could here him.  
  
"Aragorn just said that they have a better chance defending Helm's Deep then at Edoras." I said softly, watching Aragorn and Legolas warily.  
  
"They cannot win this fight!" Legolas yelled, still in elvish, his eyes blazing with anger. "They are all going to die!"  
  
I gasped involuntarily and translated in a low voice to Gimli. He frowned and mumbled to himself.  
  
"Then I shall die as one of them!" Aragorn returned in common, and the men of Rohan began to murmur, trying to figure out what had been said.  
  
Aragorn the whirled away from Legolas and stormed out of the armoury, sneering in disgust at the weapons being provided.  
  
"Let him go, lad." Gimli said quietly to Legolas, who had an ugly look on his face. He turned and glared at Gimli, but the dwarf ignored him. "Let him be."  
  
*~*~*  
  
This cannot be happening! Haldir has jus arrived with an army of elven warriors! From Elrond of Rivendell!  
  
Haldir's reaction to me was quite...well...amusing.  
  
The first thing he said was: "Forgive me, lady, but may I ask you, are you related to Rinariel of Lothlorien?"  
  
Then, before I could answer, he said: "Wait a second, what happened to that snivelling Orc?"  
  
Then, he cut me off again. "By the Valar, you ARE Ariel!"  
  
"Took you long enough!" I mumbled, trying to look grumpy. Haldir smiled and hugged me tightly.  
  
"I thought you were dead!"  
  
"I wasn't dead! I was in fact the Orc you saw. Thanks for the warm home- coming." I muttered angrily.  
  
Instinctively, he drew away.  
  
"That's not very nice." I said, punching his shoulder lightly.  
*~*~*  
  
An Army of elves! I don't think King Theoden has quite gotten over it yet. I don't think I have either!  
  
*~*~*  
  
I am restless now, I have to keep moving or else I shall surely burst with tension. Everyone has a strained look about them and no one is speaking.  
  
Storm clouds are gathering and I can see the lights of the enemy in the distance.  
  
They are coming.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Here ya go! Thanks for your wonderful reviews! *Hugs all reviewers* Please R&R!  
  
Gawd, so sorry! I forgot the elves! *bangs head against wall* stupid, stupid, stupid! Ok, this is the new version on chapter 11. Well, actually, this is the third version....but yeah..... 


	12. Conflict

Disclaimer: Noooooottt..miiiiinnneee...  
  
A/N: OK, before you get confused about this chapter, let me explain. I messed up the last chapter because I forgot to mention the arrival of Haldir and the other elves. If you'd like to, you can read chapter 11 again, near the end, because I have put the arrival of the elves in there now. I'm sorry it is so short, I would have put more, but I needed to replace the other chapter as soon as poss.  
The Diary of an Orc - Continued  
  
*~*~*  
  
I can see the army of Saruman approaching us, a dark column twisting like a treacherous river that swallowing all that is touches.  
  
Aragorn reported ten thousand, could he be right? I knew in my heart that he was speaking the truth, but my head was saying: 'There is no army of that size!'  
  
The warriors of Rohan barely reach over three hundred. The elven archers are a great aid, but what is that compared to ten thousand?  
  
Maybe this is our fate, maybe we are to die here at the hands of an army greater then one could imagine.  
  
The women, ill and children are all in the caves. I remain free to fight, but at my own will, not the will of those who wish to protect me.  
  
The one thing that lightens my gloomy heart is the presence of the elvish warriors sent by Lord Elrond, Haldir among them. When I first saw the flags of Rivendell and Lothlorien, my heart gave a funny jolt. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. For the second time that day, my eyes seemed to be playing tricks on me, but when I saw Haldir, I knew it was real.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I stand among the ranks of the elvish warriors, wearing elvish armour, given to me by Lady Galadriel, and carrying by bow and arrows of the Galadhrim. Haldir stands beside me, and I do not think he recognises me.  
  
I have pulled my helmet low over my face, the movements feeling familiar and memories of my short time as an Orc coming back. I have plaited and tucked my hair into my helmet. Hardly any of the other elves wear their hair out, it is a risk. Anyone could use their hair to pull their heads back and expose their throats.  
  
Further along the wall stand Legolas and Gimli. I saw Aragorn before; he was stalking the elven ranks, tension forcing him to move to rid himself of the feeling.  
  
It has started to rain, cold drips of rainwater trickle down my neck making me shiver. The light patter of rain turns into a downpour. I, and all others, are now soaked to the bone.  
  
I can hear the army now, the faint stomping of feet and the ratter of armour. Now is the time I'd rather be a human, you see too much when you are an elf. I know the other elves must be feeling the same, the numbers are obvious now and the valley of rock slowly fills with the army of Isengard.  
  
The poor humans would only be able to see a dark shadow and the twinkling lights of the torches they carry. Darkness has fallen and butterflies flitter in my stomach.  
  
Haldir has just turned to me and sighed. So he DID recognise me after all.  
  
"Ariel." He said, taking my hand and holding it firmly in his. "Go with the women and the children, be safe."  
  
I am angry at his request; I will not sit idle when my kin and friends are out here dying at the hands of evil!  
  
"I will not." I returned shortly, clearly implying that I did not want to pursue the subject any further.  
  
"Please, Ariel." He said, worry in his almond shaped eyes. He cupped my cheek with a cold, wet hand. "You cannot die, again"  
  
I pulled away form him. "What?" I hissed, ignoring the looks of anger from the elves around me. "What do mean 'again'? I was never dead the first time!"  
  
I have moved now, away from Haldir and his sad eyes and next to Legolas ans Gimli. Gimli has just finished mumbling about how he can't see anything.  
  
I can now smell the unpleasant stench of the approaching Uruk-Hai and Orcs. I pray that death come swiftly, if at all.  
*~*~* Aragorn *~*~*  
  
I am not sure how long we can hold them back. We have destroyed the first three lines of the enemy, but there are always too many more to take their place. They are organised, too organised, the strategies they have planned are good ones, taught by Saruman, no doubt.  
  
Gandalf has taken his leave and he said he would return at the dawn of the fifth day. Tomorrow morning.  
  
Ladders! They have ladders! Of course, how else would they get over the walls? The first lot of ladders have gone up, but there are too many! The ladders are allowing the Uruks and Orcs access over the walls.  
  
"Swords!"  
  
I see many flashed of elvish metal as all the elves draw their swords and chop down the Uruks that dare to try and get over the walls.  
  
I can see a lone elf ahead, but he looks too familiar...  
  
Ariel! Curses! She has eluded us and brought herself into the battle.  
  
She'd better not get herself killed! I'll never forgive her if she does!  
  
*~*~* Legolas *~*~*  
  
They have broken through the gates. I have lost sight of Ariel; I swore I saw her near the wall...  
  
Oh no! She has been pushed from the wall and into the swarming masses of the enemy below. I hope she can escape....alive.  
  
The numbers of the enemy are overwhelming, kill one and there are more then ten to take his place. Several, too many, of the elves have fallen, each death tearing painfully at my heart, as does all death of an immortal being.  
  
Gimli and I work together, warning each other of stray orcs or Uruks and looking for ways to hold off the enemy a little while longer.  
  
Aragorn is desperately trying to think of last minute tactics, any strategy long forgotten. We need more elven archers, but many of the Elves, too many, are wounded of have fallen.  
  
Two Uruks are carrying a round, spiked metal ball of some kind. Aragorn says I am to kill the Uruk carrying the flaming torch, he runs behind the two that carry the metal ball.  
  
He does not die! I have put two arrows into him now, but he has not fallen, obviously his task is worth dying for....  
*~*~* Gimli *~*~*  
  
The nasty little beggars! They have blasted a huge hole in the outer wall, killing many of the Elves and Men that stood there. I must say, their plan kind of back fired, most of the chunks of wall flew back into their own army, killing and wounding many Orcs and Uruk-Hai.  
  
I haven't seen Ariel since the fighting began, I hope she hasn't gone and killed herself now. I am counting how many of these putrid creatures I have killed. I don't think guilt was invented for killing such beasts. As I thought, these Uruks are smart. They have plans, they are quick thinkers and know that I've we can better them in skill; they will overwhelm us with numbers.  
  
Usually such a realisation would plunge any kind soul into the bleakest of depressions, but there is no time for such sadness.  
  
The thought of these filthy dirt clods claiming Helm's Deep makes my blood boil!  
  
*~*~*  
  
I must have passed out for a while because I have a vicious bump on my head and a piercing headache. I fell off the wall, that much I remember, some over excited soldier pushed me over by mistake, not that he noticed or anything.  
  
I am wondering at the unlikely ness of what has happened. I must have been mistaken for a fallen warrior since I am unharmed, and since I am near the wall, I have not been trampled.  
  
The masses of Uruks surround me and there is no hope of escape. It angers me to lie here, useless, unable to move or else I'll be killed without question.  
  
There is confusion a long way down the wall. The Uruks are screaming and roaring in their guttural language, to fast for me to comprehend. From what I can pick up, they have conquered the wall and have swamped the keep.  
  
The lightening has stopped flashing and half the torches carried by the Uruks have been extinguished. Darkness has fallen over where I lie.  
  
I tried to sit up but the cord of the amulet was caught on a weapon pinned underneath me.  
  
Oh goodness! How could I have been so stupid! In the heat of war, no sensible Uruk-Hai would notice an Orc sneaking towards to hole in the wall. I translated that a few moments ago, it seems that "Saruman the Great" or so they call him, has found a way to blast holes in solid rock walls.  
  
*~*~*  
  
It worked! I'm now in the rush of Uruks running towards the Keep. I've my amulet tucked safely in my pocket.  
  
I hope no one kills me by accident!  
  
*~*~* Gimli *~*~*  
  
Although the Uruks seem smarter than most, I just saw the most extraordinary site, an Orc shooting at its own. Now THAT'S stupid.  
  
*~*~* Aragorn *~*~*  
  
This war is going to drag its war to a long bloody death.  
  
Half the elven archers have fallen and many men have fallen. I am doing everything in my ability to come up with last minute tactics to surprise them. They have done more than their fair share of surprises, now its our turn!  
  
*~*~*  
  
Haldir has been wounded, mortally. He could have been killed, but Aragorn and I arrived at exactly the right moment. I was making "mistakes", shooting "my own" stopping the Uruks from killing swiftly by getting in the way and generally making a nuisance of myself.  
  
As soon as it's safe for me to change back, I will, but for now, the only person who's looked at me strangely (and a strange site it must be, an Orc dressed in elven armour.) is Aragorn.  
  
Aragorn and I have just taken Haldir deep into the Keep, I'd take him down with the women and children, but someone might follow me and a lot more people could die.  
  
I am relieved to see that he is not wounded bad enough to lose his sense of humour. I had quickly slipped my amulet on as soon as Haldir first saw me, and I knew that in his muddled mind, he wouldn't question how I suddenly appeared out of nowhere.  
  
"I told you not to get wounded!" I scolded as Aragorn placed him on a low bed. I wished they have an emergency healing room, but not many of the wounded lived longer than a few minutes, or even seconds.  
  
"Actually," He said, in a matter-of-fact tone, trying to move. "As I recall, I told YOU not to get wounded."  
  
I pushed him back down on the bed. "Rest!" I said firmly, sadness filling me as I saw how vulnerable he looked. If any of the Uruk-Hai were to storm the Keep...  
  
"Yes, mother" He said softly, a faint smile playing on his face.  
  
********************************  
  
Hi! I am SOOOOO sorry that I haven't updated sooner. You see, a little thing called camp happened, and then after that I kind of wasn't anywhere near my home for the next three weeks straight. I finally got the time to do this now, please don't hate me! =D 


	13. Prophet

Disclaimer: Lotr doesn't belong to me...  
  
The Diary of an Orc -- Continued  
  
*~*~* Nameless Child *~*~*  
  
The people are scared. I'm not! It's fun down here. Lots and lots of hiding places from the icky monsters. Sister says that they are monsters from a very bad place. Their King is a bad man who wears white. Mother says he's an evil wizard, but I don't believe her! Wizards are good! I know it!  
  
Father and brother are fighting the icky monsters, I hope they die quickly.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I've had to stop myself from checking on Haldir every twenty seconds. Every time I hear someone scream, I think its Haldir and nearly run back to where Aragorn and I left him. The Uruks are clever, and this makes me want to scream and tear out my hair. They aren't supposed to have a plan! They are supposed to be stupid!  
  
Why wont they die?  
  
There are too many of them, I am too tired. I am fighting with my amulet on, I don't want to be mistaken for the enemy and killed. Legolas and Gimli are counting how many they have killed. How can they do that? They act like its good to die! Everything is falling apart. I had realized the foolishness of thinking we could hold this mass of dark creatures back and protect our fort, but now I see why an army of this size has been raised.  
  
It was made to wipe out the people of Rohan.  
  
This is no war, it's a slaughter and my many of people I have grown to love is caught up in it all. I wish there was a way we could win this war, but what hope is there left?  
  
Listen to me go on! I must not think like there is no hope, there IS hope, we just haven't found it yet.  
  
*~*~* Nameless Child *~*~*  
  
Mother is very very angry. She says that I am very naughty and bad for saying what I said about father and brother. I don't know why she's mad. I know they are going to die. I hope they don't hurt before they do, otherwise I'll kill them! I'll kill all the bad monsters that hurt my family!  
  
I have to sit here, in the small corridor leading into the mountains until I've thought about what I wrote. I've already thought about what I wrote. And I was right. But mother would be even madder at me for saying that.  
  
It's cold here in the corridor. I can hear noises of swords. It sounds like when the pretty lady and her friends practice, but there are screams as well. I know there are people dying out there. I know that they won't ever come back.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I don't believe it! The Uruks have us cornered, pacing and useless in a tiny room. Haldir is healing fast, but I'm not letting him fight until he can draw his bow without flinching in pain.  
  
The doors have been barricaded, but I know that it won't last for long. Its nearly morning, or so I'm told. I've lost all sense of time; everything seems to be going very slowly.  
  
Aragorn is trying to assure the King that all hope is not lost, but it is hopeless. His eyes are dead; all life that may have been there has gone. Instead the King asks us questions we cannot answer.  
  
None of us are harmed. We are all here, only exhausted from a long battle and little sleep and the Uruks are outside waiting to slaughter us.  
  
I ask myself, could I remove my amulet and hide by the door so that when the Uruks do get to us, I will be spared? Could I save myself and watch the others, my friends die at the hands of the very creatures that I hate with such passion?  
  
No. I couldn't, and I won't.  
  
*~*~* Nameless Child *~*~*  
  
It's very cold here in the corridor. Mother has made me sit here for a long time. I think she is upset about father and brother. This is not the same corridor to the mountains, I have moved so that when the door opens from above, I am the first thing there for the visitor to see.  
  
I can hear someone coming. A soldier? Yes, of course. I know this part. It's my favourite. The big soldier of the King is coming to tell us that we have lost the war and we should go into the mountains. But I don't, I stay and then, the story ends.  
  
The cries of people dying are very sad, I have been crying for them, even though I've known they would die all along.  
  
The pretty lady is here somewhere. Her uncle said she wasn't allowed to fight and she is mad. She talks about an elf called Ariel who was allowed to fight and she complains about how unfair it is. Only to her friends though, to the rest of us, she says nice words to stop the worried mothers and wives from crying. She is very nice.  
  
The big soldier of the King has come now, but I know that the story has changed. We can't go into the mountains, because then we'd have to turn around and walk back again. The story has no ending this time. I think I like this one better.  
  
*~*~*  
  
The King has sent one of his men to urge the women, the sick and the children to make their way into the mountains. I see no point, we'll all be slaughtered, and then the Uruks, who probably know about the caves because of that Snake, will go and slaughter them too.  
  
I followed the soldier for a bit, hoping to see Éowyn, and saw a little child sitting in the corridor. The frightening thing is that the child looked up and said quite simply: "You are not what you say you are. Beneath the skin that you wear, something evil lies."  
  
The Uruks have are trying to break through the doors. They are nearly through.  
  
*~*~* Gimli *~*~*  
  
There's something strange going on with Ariel. Well, there's always something strange going on with her, but this is different. She was just raving on about there being no hope, then she saw something, a ghost you'd think, and then went silent.  
  
When I look at her now, her fair skin is unnaturally pale and her beautiful lapis lazuli coloured eyes are wide. I wonder if I am the only one who has notice her quietness, but Haldir keeps sneaking glances in her direction as well.  
  
That stupid elf. Haldir that is. Nearly going and getting himself killed.  
  
I realize now that I've never actually taken the time to study Ariel closely. Could she be related to the Lady of the Golden Wood? Her hair is slightly wavy, but her facial features closely resemble that of the Lady.  
  
*~*~* Aragorn *~*~*  
  
Never mind that I have been trying convince King Theoden into making one last stand. His ears are deaf and his eyes are blind. He neither sees nor hears me when I urge him to make this one last defense.  
  
Ariel is looking rather pale, probably just shock from all the death, but she is also quiet. Of course, she was quite quiet when she first came into our company, but after that she would talk up a storm, leaving us unable to get a word in.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Gimli, Aragorn and Haldir keep looking at me, as if I'm some creature that they have never seen before. It's irritating!  
  
*~*~* Nameless Child *~*~*  
  
Her, I know her. She is the one in my story that is an elf, but yet she is also a creature of the dark.  
  
Not in her soul though. Her soul is untouched by the darkness that surrounds her physical form.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Aragorn has finally convinced the King that we need to defend this fort. The first light of the morning was shining through one of the small windows that are near the roof.  
  
"Gandalf!" He said quietly, in a pleased voice. He then rounded on Theoden and spoke rapidly to him.  
  
Before I knew it, there were seven horses of Rohan standing in the room, having been bought from the stables and Gimli was running off somewhere.  
  
The horses, one for the King, Aragorn, Legolas, Haldir and I, and the other two for two of the soldiers of Rohan, were all geared up. They looked like they had been waiting for this final stand their whole lives.  
  
As Legolas and Haldir selected their horses, I looked up at them, not understanding when they stopped me from mounting the horse in between them.  
  
"You," Legolas said, holding my shoulder firmly. "Are staying here."  
  
Haldir nodded in agreement and then they were gone, along with Aragorn and the King.  
  
The doors were thrown open and they rode out into the remaining Uruks and fought their way right into the middle of it.  
  
The Uruks who hadn't turned around and followed the King turned back to me, smiling. Not wanting to be left behind as a toy for these Uruks to play with and kill, I mounted the one remaining horse and rode out, slashing at the few Uruks who remain with my sword.  
  
*~*~* Haldir *~*~*  
  
I know that Ariel has followed us. Even though she would deny it if we don't see her, I know her too well. I can see Mithrandir on the high ridge next to this hell trap, the morning rays shining about him, making him seem like an illusion playing before ones eyes.  
  
The Uruk-Hai nearly stopped all of their fighting and turned at once towards this new threat, lowering their awful sharpened weapons, hoping to spear those that might dare to come down the ridge.  
  
Mithrandir raised he staff and shouted something that even I couldn't hear over the noise of the Uruk-Hai. Behind Mithrandir appeared a figure that the King clearly recognized. He then gestured to those behind him and an army of mounted soldiers came thundering down the slope, the morning rays shining brightly in the eyes of the Uruk-Hai, forcing them to lift their spears.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I can see Mithrandir! He has bought an army...an army of mounted soldiers...he..he bought help...he has saved us...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I'm SO sorry! I lost my floppy disc that had all my stuff on it, and it took me a long time to find it! Well, I've got it back now and here's a new chapter for you to read and review (please?) 


	14. Life

Disclaimer: Lotr isn't mine!  
  
The Diary of an Orc - Continued  
  
*~*~*  
  
I saw the light..then pain..pain so strong..what has happened?  
  
*~*~* Nameless Child *~*~*  
  
The one whose body is false has been hurt, I can see it now. One of those evil creatures has hurt her...somehow..I cannot see as clearly as I would like.  
  
*~*~* Legolas *~*~*  
  
Most of the Uruks have fled, and those who remain are killed. I think some of them have accepted their fate, and wait to be killed by the sword of their enemy, though some have chosen to die by their own sword.  
  
Ariel is nowhere to be seen. Haldir told me that she wouldn't listen, but I was to preoccupied to check that she heeded our warning. She didn't.  
  
She has gone from the hall.  
  
I saw a long child walking among the fallen, checking the faces, and covering the dead with their cloaks.  
  
"Child!" I called; she shouldn't have been there. "Go back to your family! It is unsafe here!"  
  
The child just looked at me with innocent cornflower blue eyes and shook her head. She then continued to search through the bodies.  
  
*~*~* Gimli *~*~*  
  
I have to admire that kid. She is doing perhaps the worst thing in the world, checking the dead, as if searching for a father or brother.  
  
She completely ignored Legolas when he told her to go inside, so I decided to go and take her myself, to see that she got back safely and no half-dead Uruk killed her at the last moment.  
  
"Hey!" I called to her, running towards where she was. She was leaned over the body of a blonde-haired elf that had fallen.  
  
"What do you seek?" I asked her as she ran her hands around the neck of the dead elf.  
  
"I seek the one who is not what she seems." The child replied quietly. Clearly unhappy with the dead elf, she moved on to the next.  
  
"Who do you seek?" I asked, watching as she bent over the next elf, one that had been speared by the awful weapons of the Uruk-Hai.  
  
"A friend of yours." She said shortly, stopping to stare me in the eye. "You should leave."  
  
I was angry. The cheek! This child spoke riddles, and then dismissed me as the King would a lowly servant.  
  
*~*~* Aragorn *~*~*  
  
Legolas has informed me that Ariel is nowhere to be seen. Legolas and Haldir have searched the Keep for any sign of her, but they have seen nothing.  
  
They told me that they asked her to stay behind from our last battle against the Uruk-Hai, and I know at once that that was a mistake.  
  
I am afraid that I have to ask them to search for her among the dead.  
  
*~*~* Nameless Child *~*~*  
  
They don't understand! None of them understand! She must be unmasked...must be shown to the darkened world!  
  
She travelled with them..the travellers that accompanied the Ring of Power to its destruction. But something happened, the travellers split, one life was lost.  
  
She is nowhere among the dead I have searched. I will find her though, I will know when I find her, her falseness will shine out to me.  
  
*~*~* Gandalf *~*~*  
  
I am told that our Ariel has gone missing. It concerns me to hear this, because although I know she can certainly take care of herself, some foul Uruk may have got a lucky hit.  
  
Thanks to the help of the Rohirrim, Helm's Deep still stands. The grounds that stretch before the outer gate are strewn with bodies. Most of them being Uruks.  
  
The Keep is now flooded with weeping women and frightened children. It was a victory indeed, but a bitter one. Many, many families will mourn the loss of fathers and brothers today.  
  
*~*~* Haldir *~*~*  
  
We cannot find Ariel anywhere! We have searched and searched. Legolas and I looked everywhere we could to find nothing.  
  
I hope she has not been killed! My heart aches at the thought. No! No foul creature could fell a proud Lady of Altariel.  
  
The thought of her death brings me to the thought of taking this news back to Lothlorien, back to my Lord and Lady. Lady Galadriels anguished face hangs in my thoughts, it is enough to bring me to tears. She cannot have died!  
  
*~*~* Nameless child *~*~*  
  
Yes! I can see her now...she is but four bodies away from me. I cannot approach now; the elves who both love her are too close. They watch me closely, like a hawk watching its meal. It is irritating, I could reveal her! But only to my eyes. I must know.  
  
*****  
  
Legolas of Mirkwood watching closely as the child with the clear blue eyes bent over another elf, this time, with a manic look in her eyes.  
  
She reached down and felt around the elf's neck and pulled a necklace into view. The child giggled softly to herself and pulled on the necklace, looking for the unseen clasp.  
  
*****  
  
Ariel struggled through waves of pain to consciousness. When she did finally wake, waves of white-hot pain seared through her head and through her chest. She opened her eyes, wincing at the bright morning light, to see a child pulling on her amulet, trying to find the clasp.  
  
Ariel reached up a shaking arm, whimpering in pain as she pulled the amulet from the chills grasp.  
  
"No..." She croaked, holding the amulet tightly. "This is mine, I must keep it."  
  
She closed her eyes, tears welling up under swollen eyelids. The pain the shot through her head with every word was unbelievable. Opening her eyes again, she ignored the hovering child and looked down at her left side.  
  
She gasped, and choked on the air, panic filling her eyes. The left side of her battered body was a bloody mess, her armour was bent and bloodied and a spear stuck out of her, the tip pierced deep into her rib cage.  
  
Her shaking hands dropped the amulet, and the child grabbed at it eagerly, knocking the spear in the process.  
  
Pain jolted through Ariel's tortured body; she threw back her head and screamed as the child ripped the amulet from her throat.  
  
*****  
  
Legolas' head whipped around at the sound of the scream and saw the child holding the necklace of the elf, but a screaming Orc lay at the feet of the child.  
  
Haldir, who was closer to the child than Legolas, unsheathed his sword and ran towards the child, yelling at her to get away from the Orc.  
  
The child began to laugh, the sound bursting forth from her small lungs.  
  
Haldir gathered the child up in his arms and turned to Legolas. A look passed between him and Legolas nodded curtly.  
  
He plucked an arrow from his quiver and strung his bow, aiming an arrow of the Galadhrim at the withering Orc.  
  
At the last moment, the Orc turned to Legolas, its face contorted in pain. Its lips were moving, but Legolas didn't hear.  
  
The arrow was released, flying for the creature's heart.  
  
"Legolas!" The Orc screamed, in a voice he knew all too well.  
  
******  
  
Ariel nearly laughed at the situation. This was how they met. Legolas had shot Ariel, mistaking her for an orc. Now she lay here, defenseless and yet another arrow was speeding towards her. She managed to raise one shaking hand, and as the arrow pierced her, there was no sound for her pain.  
  
Blackness flooded her head, and her weak arm dropped, the arrow embedded in her hand.  
  
******  
  
The child was satisfied with what had happened. Now her dreams would stop, now the story could end. The future would no longer visit her during her dreams, now that she had shown the unknown dream sender who the elf really was. She kneeled down beside the unconscious form and placed the amulet back around her neck.  
  
The scarred orc skin was instantly replaced with pale, smooth elf-skin.  
  
******  
  
Legolas dropped his bow, not caring if he would never find it again. He had just killed Ariel.  
  
The child was gone now, and all that was left was the limp, pale form of Ariel.  
  
Legolas dropped to his knees and pulled Ariel into his lap. He smoothed back her hair from her face and looked desperately for any signs of life. When he saw her chest rise a little, and heard the shallow gasp of breath, he nearly cried in relief.  
  
Knowing that she would mend, slowly, but surely, he worked the arrow carefully out of her hand, thanking the Valar that she had stopped the arrow in time.  
  
When he saw the spear in her side, he drew in a sharp breath, but left it alone. He would leave that to the healers.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I'm afraid this will be the last chapter for this fic! I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it! When ROTK comes out, I'm sure I'll be able to start a sequel to it. Thank you for your time and thanks to all my reviewers for pointing out my mistakes and for keeping me going when I felt like stopping!  
  
Thanks to Queen Serendipity for pointing out that I misspelt Galadriels sindarin name! Sorry!  
  
And to SBR, I'm sure there will be enough room for romance in the sequel. I did want some romance, but unfortunately, I suck at writing romance.  
  
Thank you all for reading and I hope to get a sequel started when ROTK comes out! 


End file.
